Inhuman
by Silvermoontwentyseven
Summary: Donnie and Leo are struggling over their feelings for April and Karai. It seems quite hopeless...until Donnie finds a way to make them both human. But it isn't what the brothers thought it'd be, and things quickly spiral out of control. As they watch their family fall apart, they realize that getting what you want isn't worth losing what you had.
1. Chapter 1: It's Just Who We Are

**Author's Note:** This is my first fanfiction, so I'm still learning my way around the site. Please let me know if I've done anything incorrectly! Anywho, this story takes place in the 2012 Nickelodeon universe, but it's not occurring in any specific spot in the series. You know, other than Karai being introduced and such. It's really more of me spontaneously shooting out ideas and making it up as I go. That being said, let's have some fun with this! I'm open to any suggestions about what should happen. It is rated T just to be safe, because there are going to be some violent moments and death may occur.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT or Nickelodeon...unfortunately.

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><p><strong> <span>Chapter One: It's Just Who We Are<span>**

{Donnie}

I sigh, leaning my head on the cold steel of the laboratory table, T-phone in hand. I don't know why I always expect April to text me; she only ever does when she needs help or has found something out. And then it's in mass text form, to all of my brothers.

I sigh again as I turn the phone over in my palm. Raph's been right from the beginning—there's no point in waiting around for someone I could never really be with. And I know that, it's just…

It's just not fair.

"Donnie?" Leo's voice. I lift my head to see my brother walk into the lab and snatch some random graphing sheets to make it seem like I was doing something productive instead of moping about a girl. A _human_ girl.

"Hey, Leo," I say quickly, pretending to be absorbed in the scrabble before me. "Did you need something?"

Leo makes a face, exhaling as he closes the door. Something in the air shifts, and I hesitate.

"I, um… I wanted to talk to you." He walks over and sits down across the table, his eyes on his hands. "About Karai."

I frown. "Leo, we've been over this. She's in the Foot—we can't trust her and you know it—"

But Leo looks up with full eyes. "Donnie, please…"

I catch myself and avert my gaze. I should know better. Leo's going through the same thing; I can at least try to be there for him.

"I'm sorry, Leo… So what about Karai?"

Leo shifts uncomfortably. "How do you deal with it? Liking someone who won't ever like you back? I mean, you're head over heels for April, and you're the smartest one out of all of us, but you keep trying to win her over…" He hesitates. "Why?"

I fold my arms across the front of my shell, swallowing. "I-I don't know. I just can't stop myself. When I'm around her… I don't know, everything's so much better."

"But it can't ever happen. So what's the point?"

"…I guess there is no point," I mutter. "I guess I know down inside that it's hopeless, but when I see her, when I'm around her, I don't care. Does there have to be a point in liking someone?"

"For them to like you back, yeah." Leo exhales heavily, resting his elbows on the table. "Man, this sucks."

I grunt. "Sucks more for you. Even if we somehow could work this out, Karai would still be our enemy. _Your_ enemy."

"Gee, thanks."

I close my eyes. "Sorry… But I really don't know what to tell you, Leo." I look down at the T-phone clutched in my hand—I must've picked it up somewhere in the conversation. "I don't even know what to tell myself." I set it on the counter and sit back in my chair.

Leo gives a disappointed sigh as he leans against the table, but I can tell he expected no different. There really is nothing either one of us can do.

"So," Leo says after a moment, "about the Foot Clan. Raph said he saw a few of their goons snooping around one of the back alleyways by the subway station the other night. I think it's worth looking into when we head out later."

I nod, admiring how Leo can just steel himself over like that and get back to business. I wish I could do the same.

"Yeah, probably," I mumble. "Hopefully it's nothing too bad, 'cause I'm beat from training earlier." I rub a particularly sore spot on the back of my neck.

_Raph just doesn't know when to quit._

"Eh, things have been pretty slow lately." Leo gives me a daring look of gleaming blue eyes and his trademark smirk. "Maybe something 'bad' is just what the team needs."

~T~

{Leo}

"Give it back!"

"Why don't you come over here and make me?"

"RAPH!"

The familiar sounds of Mikey and Raph bickering strikes me as I leave the thoughtful silence of Donnie's lab. Man, I know why he's always locked up in there. It's enough to drive anyone nuts.

I stop at the top of the stairs and glare down at the both of them, wrestling and shouting on the floor. Raph's got one of Mikey's comics crunched up in his fist as he tries to keep it from Mikey's reach—which isn't hard, considering how short their little brother is. Then again, Raph doesn't have much on him either.

"Give it to me before you ruin it!" Mikey whines.

"Oh, you mean like how you _ruined_ my favorite comic?"

"That-that was an accident!"

"Yeah, you just _accidentally _got pizza and anchovies _ALL OVER IT_—"

"Alright, you guys," I snap, "break it up before I come down there and break the two of you."

Mikey grunts and rolls to the side, glaring daggers at Raph.

"Leo, he took my comic and he won't give it back!"

"He started it!" Raph shouts.

I sigh and step down into the living area. I whip out one of my katanas before Raph can get another word out, and the two of them fall silent.

"Raph, give the stupid book back to Mikey."

His face scrunches up into his infamous scowl, but a brief glance at the point of my blade stops whatever rude remark he was about to make in its tracks. He chucks the crumpled comic down at Mikey's feet and storms off, slamming his door shut for good measure.

Mikey scrambles to pick up the wrinkled comic and holds it against his chest, his baby blue eyes wavering slightly.

"He's being a jerk today."

I sigh and sheathe my sword. "Isn't he always?"

"Well yeah, but it's more than usual. You won't believe what he did at breakfast—"

"Mikey," I bite, "I really don't care."

He takes a small step back and I curse myself for using that tone.

"Sorry…" Another sigh. "I'm sorry, little bro." I walk towards him and sling an arm around his shoulders, smiling as warm as I can manage. "I didn't mean that. I think we're all just a little tense."

He blinks back the threat of tears. "About what?"

I shrug, losing myself. "You know…patrol's just been a drag lately. We haven't had a good fight for over a week, and then Sensei kept us down here two nights in a row for extra training. I think we're all just a bit pent up."

He nods. "Yeah…I guess."

"Well listen," I say lightly, rubbing my fist on his head. "Why don't you go in your room and catch up on those tapes you found? You know, those weird Japanese shows—"

"Anime."

"Right, right—that."

"But the one with the finale's busted, remember?"

I smile. "I think I heard Donnie mention earlier that he could fix it for you. Why don't you go ask?"

His whole face lights up. "Really? Awesome! Thanks, Leo!"

And in seconds, he's running to and from his room, tape clutched in his hands, and barges right into Donnie's lab with an excited shout.

"Donnie!"

The door sways shut and his enthusiasm becomes muffled. I shake my head and chuckle to myself. If only everyone on the team was so easy to cheer up.

I roll my shoulders and head to my room, glancing once at Raph's closed door before closing my own. I'll deal with him later.

I shut the door behind me and collapse on my bed, letting all the air out of my lungs. I stare up at the ceiling and just breathe. I try not to think about her—to just close my eyes and relax—

But she's there. Behind my lids, in my dreams. Just…_there_. Watching, waiting, observing my every move. I can't tell if I'm afraid of her or afraid of the way I feel for her, or maybe just both. I want to believe she won't hurt me or my family, but I know that isn't true. Whatever I feel towards her isn't exactly mutual.

I close my eyes again and focus on every memory I have of her. I dissect it, pull it apart, and break it down to its most basic components. I _know_ there's good in her. I know it! But I don't think she does, and as long as she sees herself that way, the good in her won't matter. It won't come out. How can I convince her that her life doesn't have to be the way it is? And even if I do, what next? If she becomes good, if she changes…I'll just want to be with her more and more, and it'll just hurt me more and more.

I roll over and bury my face into my pillow. This is stupid—I shouldn't even be thinking about her. Because it doesn't matter. None of this matters. No matter what I feel, no matter how things change, I'll never be more than what I am now: an outsider, a mutant that hides in the sewers.

_Inhuman_.

That word burns across my mind like fire. I clench my eyes shut and groan, trying to push it away. I know we're not human…but we think like humans. We act like humans. We talk and move like humans. We even feel like humans. Anger, pain, jealousy, happiness, grief, loneliness, peace—it's all there. We just can't do anything about it.

I think that's the worst part. To be _like_ something without ever being able to actually _be_ that something. Like human, but never truly human.

Living here for fifteen years, hiding in the dark—it sucked, but it wasn't all that bad. We didn't know anything else. But now…now we know the world above us. We feel it and breathe it and live in it, but we can't really be a part of it. It's almost worse than not knowing.

I groan again and roll onto my back. Stop thinking like this! Geez! I have enough to worry about with the team and whatever the Foot Clan's up to up above—I don't need to think about something that doesn't matter because it won't ever happen. It can't happen.

This is our life. Living in the secret, defending the city; unseen, unknown. Justice for the sake of justice. Nothing else matters—nothing else ever will. This is it.

It's just who we are.


	2. Chapter 2: Leave it to Mikey

**Author's Note**: Here you go: chapter two! Oh, and cliffhangers are to be expected from now on with my writing...I have a wonderful habit of ending everything on a cliffhanger. There are going to be several subplots with this story to make it more interesting, so the humanizing part will come in later as everything ties together. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and find it to your liking! Comments, reviews, and _constructive _criticism are always welcomed!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT or Nickelodeon...despite my many wishes.

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Two: Leave it to Mikey<span>**

{Mikey}

Everyone's acting weird. Donnie and Leo seem really down—like, more than usual. And Raph's just being a punk—like, _way_ more than usual. I get what Leo said about being pent up, but man! These guys just need to chill!

We're going out on patrol soon, so hopefully that will get everyone back in their heads. I hope so, 'cause I hate it when they're like this. Everyone's in their own mind, angry or upset about something they won't say to anyone else, and no matter how many jokes I crack or silly faces I make, I still can't get them to laugh! It sure makes my job a lot harder. All I want is for everyone to be cool with each other…but sometimes, it seems like that's just too much to ask for.

I grab my nun chucks off the bedside table and stretch my legs. Maybe we'll find a good skate spot after we see what the Foot's up to. That'd be a good night: beating up a few dozen goons and then skating for a couple hours before heading home and crashing. You know, after pizza. A good night _always_ ends with pizza.

I wonder if Master Splinter's noticed the downer mood. But, I guess if he had, he would've given us some weird lesson about inner peace and tranquility or whatever. I don't know—I usually zone out for those things.

A knock sounds at the door.

"You almost ready, Mikey?"

"Yeah, Leo!" I call back. I grab my kneepads and hop towards the door while I shove them on. I snatch my skateboard too and sling the nun chucks into their holders on the back of my shell.

Please be a good night. Please, please, please!

~T~

{Raph}

"This is the worst night ever!" I groan. I collapse onto my back on the rooftop, clutching my head in boredom. I feel like my brain's gonna pop out of my skull from all this stupid—

"Raph!" Leo hisses. "For the billionth time, be _quiet_!"

"Why does it matter? There's nothing out here, Leo! We're just wasting our time—_again_—"

"On a detail that _you_ picked up for us," he snaps. That shuts me up. "You said you saw the Foot here the other night, so we're checking it out. Now shut up and keep watch."

I let out an exaggerated sigh and fold my arms over my face. This sucks.

"It's alright, Raph," Mikey says, sitting down next to me. "If there's nothing out here, we can just go skating after." He looks to Leo. "Right?"

Leo doesn't say anything. He keeps his eyes down by the subway station, and Donnie keeps his to the back alleyways by the fish markets. Neither of them have been very vocal, which is fine by me, but it is a little weird. Plus, it just gives Mikey an incentive to be more obnoxious than usual while he tries to cheer everyone up.

"So how long do we wait?" I grumble.

Leo doesn't look at me. "As long as it takes."

"Oh, oh!" Mikey chimes. "Can we play some games while we're waiting? I can start! This one's called the—"

I clamp a hand over Mikey's mouth and glare at him. "No."

"But—"

"Mikey, just shut up, will you? It's already frustrating enough that Fearless is keeping us out here when there's clearly nothing going on—"

"_Raph_—" Leo warns.

"But it'll be fun!" Mikey whines. "Come on, please? Leo?"

"Not right now, Mikey."

He turns to me with pleading eyes. "Raph?"

"Don't make me hit you."

And then to Donnie, standing across the rooftop, his back to us. "…Donnie? You wanna play? It's really cool—"

"Mikey, can you please stop?" Donnie says impatiently. "Seriously, you're all being really loud."

"That's what I'm trying to say!" Leo groans. "Now all of you, be quiet! And Mikey, stop poking Raph before he throws you off the roof."

"I'm getting real close," I growl, staring down at Mikey. He smiles sheepishly and pulls back, but I smack him upside the head anyway for good measure.

"Ow!"

"Mikey! What did I just say?" Leo barks.

"He hit me!" Mikey cries, pointing. "I didn't even do anything!"

Leo buries his face in his palm. "What will it take to shut the two of you up?"

"You can tell Mikey to leave," I mutter. "That'd definitely help."

Mikey's face bunches up. "You want me to leave? Fine!" He snatches up his skateboard. "I'll just find a spot to skate by myself." He turns away from us and makes for the fire escape.

"Mikey—" Leo starts, but Donnie interrupts.

"Let him go, Leo. There won't be much happening tonight anyway—at least one of us should be having some fun. Besides, there's no sense keeping him here if it's going to be a problem."

Mikey hops over the edge, and we all listen to the sound of wheels grinding through the gravel and the sidewalk as he skates off. Leo sighs, shaking his head, and glares at me.

"What?" I ask, trying to mask my grin.

"Why can't you ever behave?" he growls. "Seriously, it isn't that hard to keep your mouth shut."

"_Behave?_" I scoff. "What am I, five?"

Leo gives me a condescending look. "On a good day."

I bare my teeth and push myself off the ground. "Hey, he started it—"

"I don't care! Grow up and ignore it! He's just trying to lighten the mood—cut him some slack."

My nostrils flare and I cross my arms, averting my burning gaze. I'm always the one getting yelled at. Mikey can act like a child all he wants, and the others think it's harmless, but when I act immature, I'm supposed to know better. We're all the same age, more or less. Why can't Mikey ever know better?

"Can I leave too?" I grumble.

Leo doesn't even hesitate. "No."

"But Mikey left!" I hiss, incredulous.

"We might need you here. Besides, you're the one who saw the Foot here, which means we're here because of you. So you're staying."

"Gah!" I throw my hands in the air and slump back down against an A.C. unit—rather loudly, I might add—and Leo shoots me another glare.

"I know, I know," I mock. "Be quiet."

His lip curls slightly, but he turns his back to me again.

_Man,_ I think bitterly, the side of my face smushed up against my fist. _This bites._

~T~

{Mikey}

The sound of the wheels churning up gravel beneath me fills my ears, and all the space in-between—which Donnie says there's a lot of.

I don't really know where I'm going, and I don't really care, as long as it's somewhere away from my brothers. Geez, all I was trying to do was make everyone feel better, but _no_, I guess I'm just too obnoxious.

I breathe out all the heaviness in my chest and glance up at the starless sky. It's black, washed with a bit of deep blue around the horizons, but completely empty. No moon, no stars, no clouds—just blah. Kinda like how I'm feeling right now.

I've been going for a while, keeping to the back alleys or the rooftops; I don't really want the guys finding me. I just need time to blow some steam. But man, if anything cool happens while I'm gone, I'm gonna be mad.

I jump the curb of the sidewalk and hop off my board for a second. I guess I went pretty far—I don't think I've been over here before…

I turn around slowly and try to take in my new surroundings, even though everything here looks the same. I see a few warehouses off to my left, and a back road that leads to the docks.

Wait, the docks? I'm out this far already? I groan and kick at the sidewalk. I should've been paying attention; it's going to take forever to get back. I lean against a busted streetlight and stare up at the flickering bulb. At least it's deserted over here. The warehouses look abandoned—either that, or nobody cares that all of the windows have been smashed in and boarded up with scrap wood.

I tilt my head and smile to myself. I bet there's some cool stuff left over in there. At the very least, it'd be a sweet place to hang out for a bit.

I sling my skateboard over the back of my shell, tuck it behind my belt, and move for the neglected building. I keep checking to make sure no one's around, but this whole place is completely empty. Even back on patrol, the streets were dead. I guess that just means less to worry about.

I duck under a crooked awning that's hanging inches from the ground and pop the knife from the back of my nun chuck. I give the scrap wood a good punch with the blade and bust the whole thing open. After scraping away most of the splinters and shards, I pull myself up through the window and drop down into the dark, damp warehouse. My feet land on the wet cement—in a puddle, no less—and my wrappings are soaked through.

"Sheesh," I mutter, covering my nose. "Smells like Donnie's lab."

The stench of oils, sulfur, and gasoline clogs my senses. I shake my head to try to chase it off, but it does little good. I've never liked this kind of smell. It reminds me of those icky black smoke plumes that come from the factories every so often. We made the mistake of staking out on one of those one night… Let's just say that'll never happen again.

I opt for breathing through my mouth—which isn't any better, 'cause now I can taste it—and ready the both of my nun chucks. I can't see anything suspicious in here, but it is pretty dark, so I can't assume there _isn't_ anything suspicious in here. I keep to the walls and move slow, remembering Leo's stealth training from last week that I sort-of-but-not-really paid attention to.

I hum a little tune to myself, though I'm pretty sure Leo distinctly said _not_ to hum tunes to myself in situations like this, but hey, he's not here to tell me what to do.

"Ugh," I groan. The smell's really getting to me. I wish I had a light or something—

Oh! My T-phone! Duh.

I slip the device from my belt and push the little on-button. The screen flickers to life, breaking the thick darkness of the warehouse with a steady stream of blue-ish light. I wave it around and the beam catches piles of metal boxes, wooden crates, a few workbenches littered with tools and exposed wires, and scattered papers, like blueprints. I tilt my head at the mess and carefully step towards the closest bench.

"Donnie would sure love it here," I whisper. I poke at the coils of cables, wires, and metal linings. I wonder what was going on here. It doesn't seem like this stuff would just get left behind.

The faint sound of a dripping pipe and the thick silence is kind of unnerving, so I start humming again as I wander through the work room. I have no idea what any of it means, but it's fun to look at, so I don't mind not knowing.

I'm almost near the opposite end of the warehouse when a clanging sound erupts behind me. I gasp and drop the phone, ripping my nun chucks from my belt on instinct—

But the ground is wet, and the phone lands in a puddle and short-circuits. A sharp popping sound shoots from it, along with a few sparks, and it dies there in the water and leaves me in the dark.

"Ah, man!" I hiss. I scramble for the phone and pick it up, frantically pushing the button over and over, but nothing happens. "Aw, Donnie's gonna kill me!"

Another metallic sound comes from the darkness, and I tense up. It sounds like…something's moving…

I whirl my nun chucks around me defensively, but I can't see a thing and I'm freaked out. Maybe I should leave—where was that window again?

I squint my eyes and see it: the only faint source of outside light, all the way on the other side of the warehouse. I groan inwardly and press the back of my shell against the wall, inching slowly for the window as quiet as I can manage. I hold my breath and plead silently in my head. Oh, I hope something just fell over; I hope there's nothing else in here—please, please, please—

But the noise occurs again, only louder this time. Whirring, ticking, metal scraping, hinges creaking—what is that, a machine? I swallow hard and try to stay calm until two dim red lights flicker to life in the black.

What's going on? I flatten into the wall and my breath catches in my throat. What is that? Some alien monster robot? I think I've had enough of those for one lifetime, thank you very much!

I keep still and watch the two red dots sway through the darkness as whatever-it-is continues to move and scrape awkwardly against the wet pavement.

_Alright,_ I think to myself. _I can do this. If those are its eyes, it doesn't look much taller than me—I can take it…even though I can't see a thing and I have no idea what it is._

I clench my jaw and make a silent whimper. This is why they shouldn't let me go off alone. Haven't they learned by now the kind of trouble I get myself into?

I take a small step to the right—

And fall right onto my butt. A sharp cry escapes me, more from the shock than from the pain, and I clamber back to my feet, trying not to slip on whatever's all over the floor. Oil? It's not water—it's slippery and slimy and smells weird. I guess something must've spilled—

But that's the least of my concerns. Whatever's in here with me heard the noise I made when I fell, and now it's looking right at me. The red light has sharpened and focused in my direction, and in seconds, all those awful sounds are headed right for me.

~T~

{Donnie}

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No pedestrians, no loud teenagers—nothing but the stray cat that seems to appear whenever we're staking out. I sigh and lower the binoculars. At least the noise has stopped. If those two would have kept at it, I'd be the one leaving.

I lean against the edge of the rooftop and stare down at the empty streets below. A slight breeze rustles some of the loose garbage in the alleyway, and a dim light turns out in one of the nearby apartments. The fish markets are closed, but stinky as ever, and everything looks to be locked up and secure. A car or two have driven lazily past since we've been out here, but nothing substantially off has been noted. It's been a waste of time, to say the least.

"How long before we pull out, Leo?" I ask. He's watching the other side of the building, but he hasn't seen much either.

"I don't know." He exhales heavily. "Sorry, guys. I guess this was a bust after all." He sheathes his katana and hops down from the building's edge and walks over to me.

"Guess we should go find Mikey and head back to the lair."

"Aw," Raph groans. "No skating? We can't seriously go back without doing _something_."

I look at Leo and give a small nod. "He's right. Another night without action, and we're all going to be insane."

Leo chuckles and stretches. "Yeah… Yeah, I guess." He glances back down to the empty streets. "Still seems like there should have been something. The Foot's a pretty big organization—I don't see how they could go so long without needing anything done."

I pull my skateboard from under a small solar panel and roll my shoulders a few times. "I don't either, but everything's been quiet. There's not much more we can do without anything wholesome to go off on."

We all stand there on the rooftop for another moment or two before Raph jumps to the fire escape, skateboard in hand.

"Well, come on then," he calls. "Let's go find where Mikey ran off to and grind something before we have to go back!"

Leo and I glance at each other and shrug. We both head for the fire escape, but slower, and listen to the clanging of metal as Raph jumps down through the stairs.

"You're still thinking about earlier," I say quietly. He keeps his eyes to the ground as he walks.

"Yeah."

I nod. We reach the fire escape and stare down at the black metal structure and the dozen flights of stairs.

"You know… I was thinking—"

"That's dangerous," Leo jokes. I smile thinly before continuing.

"What if…what if there was something we _could_ do about it?" I ask. I keep my voice low and careful, as if every word is a step on thinning ice. Leo looks at me, brow knit in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what if I found a way to…change how we are now?"

His eyes widen, and he stops and circles round in front of me. "What do you mean…'change?'"

I shake my head. "I don't know—it was just a theory. I don't even know how I'd go about it, but I'm sure I could build something that'd use the retro-mutagen I made in a safer manner—"

He practically shouts. "You mean you could make us human?" I give him a look, and he brings his voice to a whisper. "Donnie, could you really do that?"

I shrug. "It's probably impossible. I mean, it was just a theory—"

"You wouldn't be telling me if there wasn't any ground to it," he presses.

"Hey!" Raph's voice echoes from down below. "You geniuses coming or what?"

"In a minute!" Leo shouts, impatient. "We'll catch up!"

I chew on the inside of my cheek nervously. "Really, Leo, I don't know. I think it could work, but it'd be risky, and I have no idea how the others would respond to it—"

"But you could make us human? And switch us back when we needed to?"

"I-I didn't say that—"

"Then what are you saying?" he urges.

I fumble for words and turn my head, sighing. "I don't know… But I'm going to work on it as soon as we get back. I can't promise you anything…but I'm going to try."

He holds my gaze with big, full eyes. I can't tell if he's scared or excited or both, but now I'm thinking I shouldn't have told him until I knew I was capable of such a feat.

"Well…" he says after a moment, possible sensing my hesitation and uncertainty. "You just let me know, alright? And if there's anything I can do to help—"

"You know there never is," I tease, grinning. He laughs and gives me a good punch on the shoulder.

"But…but seriously," he breathes. "If you can do this, even for just a little bit…that'd be… It'd be incredible."

"Yeah," I say, smiling. "Yeah, it'd definitely be something."

~T~

{Mikey}

Aw, crap, crap, crap! I duck and roll to the side as something hits the wall above me. I can't see a thing, and I'm trying to remember what the warehouse looked like when I had my T-phone shining all over it, but my brain's all muddy from the panic and I can't think past the instinct to run.

I keep close to the walls until I hit the corner, and I whirl around to face the robot monster, weapons in hand. It's getting really close—it's a lot faster than I thought it'd be—and it sounds like it's gargling metal. Sparks fly from some part of its body as it nears me, and a spine-chilling grinding noise emits from the creature. It's sheer luck that I hit the ground when I do, because something flashes and screeches like a saw and tears into the brick wall where my head just was. My head is ringing and my ears hurt from the clamor. I tumble forward and pop back up on my feet, making a wild run for the faint light of the busted window and praying nothing's in my way. If I can just get outside—

_Whack!_ My foot catches on some stupid chunk of metal, and I slip on another convenient puddle of oil and face-plant the ground. I groan in discomfort and scramble back to my feet, trying to ignore the slimy feeling of oil dripping down my hands and legs. Come on, come on!

The clanging of footsteps rapidly increases behind me, but I manage to reach the window, and I throw myself through the hole I made in the scrap wood and somersault onto the street. I jump up and face the warehouse, breathing hard and shaking slightly as I wait for the crazy machine to follow me out.

And sure enough, a loud, mechanical whirring sound emanates from the abandoned building before a shiny, almost-humanoid form lifts up into view and tumbles out onto the asphalt. Its head turns full-circle as it corrects itself and stands, and the red light of its eyes becomes condensed to two tiny little beady dots.

"Well," I breathe, "I was right about the robot part, at least." I swing my nun chucks around and glance at my surroundings. If this thing starts shooting plasma lasers like the Kraang-droids did, then I'm a goner. But maybe if I can get it over to the docks, I can knock it into the ocean…

"Hey!" I shout. "Scrap heap! Is that all you've got?"

A series of clicks and beeps emit from the robot, and it steps out further into the light. It sure looks like a Kraang-droid, but its body lacks the blue membrane covering that those robots had, as well as the gaping hole meant for housing Kraang. No, this one is more slender and basic, like a silver skeleton. It doesn't look fully formed and it's walking funny, as if one of its legs wasn't assembled correctly. One hand is a small, spinning blade instead of an actual hand. But it's the face that's freaking me out. The thing doesn't have a mouth—just a black hole where the mouth should be, and two glowing red eyes that keep constricting and expanding, like pupils, and a faint nose bridge. All in all, it basically looks like it wants to suck out my soul.

It stumbles after me, sparks flying up from a busted left shoulder and exposed wires sticking out of the wrist that isn't connected to the spinning-saw-hand. I gulp, turn on my heels, and run for the docks. I'll just push it over the edge, no biggie, and get the heck out of here.

I can hear it screeching after me as I go—probably saying some rude stuff in robot-language—but I keep running until I hit the docks. I whirl around to face the machine and all its ugliness, and it doesn't waste a second swinging its creepy weapon/hand at my face. I shout and duck, dropping to the ground and sweeping at its legs. The robot goes down, but not before swiping at me again and slicing a good three inches across my shoulder. I hiss and clutch at the deep wound and kick the machine's head back before giving a pitiful roll to the side to avoid further injury.

I glance at the wound and see the blood beginning to surface in little red beads. My eyes narrow and I wince at the sting of it. Stupid robot—

It grabs at my ankle, but I return with a vicious stab of my nun chuck blade right into its chest. The robot shakes awkwardly and hot oil spills from it as I rip the blade back out.

"There!" I snap angrily. "How do you like _that_?"

It whirrs and creaks, collapsing on itself into the puddle, and when I realize my mistake, it's too late. The sparks spitting from its shoulder and wrist become sporadic and intense, and the second the robot buckles on the docks, the oil trailing down its chest and pooling across the wooden platform ignites—

_Whoosh!_ Fire, heat, and blinding light sweep across me. I gasp and cough, trying to move back, but the fire moves so fast and catches both the wrappings on my feet as well as the oil covering my hands and shins. Pain, white and hot, sears up my skin and I yelp, stumbling without direction, frantically searching for the edge so I can throw myself into the water—

My foot catches the beams guarding the sides of the dock. I roll over them and let myself fall—

Cold. Ice cold. Waves of water and relief wash over me, but my skin is still searing with the agony, and the blood is rushing through my head. I hold my breath and let the chilling water engulf me completely. The salt stings my wounds and my eyes, so I curl myself up into a little ball and become suspended underneath the ocean, forcing myself to keep still. My thoughts are scattered and jumbled and useless. All I can think of is how much is hurts, and how much I want my brothers to find me, to help me—

My lungs are burning like my skin, and I can't stand it any longer, but I don't know what to do or where to go and I'm scared to look at my injuries.

I make the decision to swim back up to the surface and try to find a spot to collapse. It takes a moment, and every move makes me want to cry, but I finally break to the surface. I sputter, flail, and kick, frantically searching for a way to get out of the water. I can't swim well enough with my legs and hands hurting so much, but I can't see any way out other than to climb, which I also can't do with my legs and hands hurting so much.

I whimper, eyes burning, and paddle for the dock. I catch the sight of small ladder-like structure hanging off the dock and into the ocean, and I swim for that. Each stroke brings a fresh wave of torment to my flesh, and the salty water is not helping. Oh, it hurts. It hurts so bad—

I choke on the lump growing in my throat and push myself for the little ladder, latching onto it with weak arms. I cling to it for dear life and get up high enough for my head to be safely out of the water, but I don't have the strength to climb all the way up. I lean my head against the railing, panting, hurting and aching. I'm an idiot. What was I thinking?!

My breath comes slower as I calm myself, but I'm cold and shivering, and the waves beat against my burns as the tide goes out. I hold to the railing and tremble, clenching my eyes shut and wishing I was anywhere but here.

I try to listen for any sounds of the robot up above, but I can't hear much past the crashing of the waves and the throbbing inside of my head. I press my face into the railing and shudder. My strength is drained and my body is spent, and a few moments—minutes, hours, lifetimes—pass me by before I let the warmth in the back of my mind wash over me and pull me under.


	3. Chapter 3: Enough to Worry About

**Author's Note:** Whoo! Another chapter done! I'm sorry this one is short-I usually like to keep my chapters over 5,000 words, but I really liked the way this section ended, so I decided to stop it there. I should be able to update again this weekend, and it will have loads of Raph and Leo conflict. Yay, angst!

I'd like to thank all those who have reviewed and followed my story-it means a lot! :) I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! ALL the feels!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT or Nickelodeon no matter how many times I put it on my birthday list.

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><p><span><strong>Chapter Three: Enough to Worry About<strong>

{Leo}

I can't get what Donnie said out of my mind; it's driving me nuts! Could he really make us human? How on earth would he manage that? What would we look like? What would it feel like? And could he change us back when the situation called for it?

I shake my head with a grunt. Stop it! We have to find Mikey and get home—don't think about anything else!

I hop a curb and skate across the street with Donnie and Raph close behind me. We've been looking for almost an hour and haven't found him anywhere. He wasn't in any of his usual skate spots and he's not answering his T-phone. Honestly, I've got enough on my mind. Where could he have run off to?

"Come on, Mikey," I whisper under my breath. "Where are you?"

We move through another alleyway and pull up by the little park with the swings that Mikey sometimes goes to when he wants to be alone. But the swings are all empty and squeaking faintly against the night breeze.

I kick my board up and grab it out of the air as Donnie and Raph pull up behind me.

"Seriously? Raph growls. "He's not here either?"

I shake my head and shrug. "Guess not. Donnie, have you tried to call him at all?"

"Since the past five seconds?" Donnie grumbles. "Yeah. He's not answering—in fact, I think his phone is off."

"Well what the heck are we supposed to do?" Raph snaps. "We can't go home till we find the idiot, and it'll be morning in a couple of hours!"

"Don't yell at me," I hiss. "You're the one who made him leave in the first place!"

"Oh, so this is all my fault now, is it?"

"_Yes._"

"Wait, wait, guys—" Donnie interrupts with a spontaneous wave of his T-phone. "I installed GPS on all our phones. It may possible to track him using that, even if his phone is off."

Raph and I both glare at him.

"And you just now remembered?" I mutter. "Gee, how convenient."

He scowls. "I've been a little occupied, thank you."

"With what?" Raph asks angrily. But Donnie just gives me a look and says nothing more. I take a deep breath and shake my head.

"Alright, alright—whatever. Just find him so we can get home."

Donnie nods and starts typing in some codes through his T-phone. I lean up against the swing set and stare at the night sky. The horizon's already beginning to lighten… I hope he didn't get into any trouble.

I sigh and glance over at Raph. He's pacing nervously around Donnie, spouting off questions in his angry voice.

"Is it done yet? Can you find him?"

"Give me a minute, Raph—"

"And why didn't you think of this earlier? It's almost daybreak, and our brother's out there somewhere and we have no idea where he is or what he's doing—"

"Raph," I say firmly. He stops and glares at me.

"What?" he bites.

"We'll find him. Just calm down and let Donnie do his thing."

His upper lip curls into a slight snarl. "You're not worried at all?"

"I didn't say that," I mutter. "But I know worrying isn't going to get us to him any faster, and neither is badgering Donnie. We're going to find him. Just be patient, okay?"

"It's not finding him I'm worried about," Raph grumbles. "It's what he's gonna look like when we do."

~T~

{Raph}

It's not taking a minute—it's taking forever. I'm slumped against the swing set, sitting on the cold cement with my arms crossed, my head down and my eyes closed. I'm trying to fight off the worrisome thoughts, but I'm not very good at it. Mikey's gotten into trouble before, and the last thing I want is for it to be my fault—_again._

I push the air from my lungs and chew on the inside of my cheek.

"Donnie?" Leo asks, his voice edged with irritation. "You found him yet?"

Donnie's nostrils flare in frustration and he shakes the T-phone. "It won't lock onto a signal long enough for me to track it…" He punches in another string of nonsense, brow knit in annoyance. "Come on, come on!"

I groan, clenching my eyes shut again and bumping the back of my head against the metal pole of the swing set impatiently. We could've found him on our own by now…

"Wait, wait," Donnie says quickly. "I think I got something… Yes!"

My eyes snap open and I jump to my feet fast enough to give me a head rush.

"You found him?" I ask a little too loud.

Donnie pauses and tilts his head at the screen. "Yeah, but…what's he doing out by the docks?"

"Doesn't matter," Leo says sharply. "Let's go!"

Back onto the skateboards, back into the winding alleys and cramped streets of the city, we move through the darkness with the night breeze at our backs and worry clouding our minds. I can see it on both of their faces, but Leo looks almost as anxious as I am. Dark as it is, the few streetlights catch and reflect the fear swirling in his blue eyes. I swallow hard and focus on whatever's ahead of me. Mikey never goes out to the docks. The place has freaked him out ever since I made up that story of zombies crawling out of the ocean. And even if it didn't, he has no reason to go over there at this time—especially by himself.

"Something must've happened to his phone," Donnie chimes in from the back. "I keep losing the signal."

Leo's eyes harden, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, the churning of asphalt and gravel beneath the wheels of our boards fills our ears and drowns everything else out.

If anything's happened to the dolt, I'm going to smack the green off him.

~T~

{Donnie}

"Left!" I shout. We finally break from the suffocating layout of the city as all the skyscrapers and dark alleyways fall behind us. Several old warehouse and fishing buildings come into view, along with the port. The salty smell of the ocean and stench of factory smog smother my senses, and I shake my head to chase it away. I glance back down at my T-phone, but once again, the signal from Mikey's phone isn't appearing. I guess we'll just have to look from here.

Leo hops off his board and whirls around. "Where is he?"

I skid to a stop and step off, giving my T-phone a useless shake. "The signal's dropped again. We'll have to split up—"

"What's that?" Raph interrupts, pointing ahead. I squint my eyes and catch the small glow off by the dock. A thin trail of smoke drifts across the air.

"A fire?" Leo guesses. "But it looks pretty contained. Come on, we'll check it out. Donnie, you keep trying the phone."

I nod without bothering to explain to him that it's basically useless now that we're here. He has to be within a quarter-mile radius from what the original signal's location was when I had it working for a second or two. He shouldn't be far from it.

I follow after Leo and Raph, all of us on foot now, and head toward the dim glow. We reach the area in seconds, and a billion questions shoot through my mind as soon as my eyes land on the crumpled, blackened heap of metal.

"What the heck is that?" Raph growls. He kicks it and I gasp.

"What're you doing? Don't touch it!"

He arches a brow. "What? It's not like it's gonna jump up and stab me."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can ruin it! Everything we find is evidence; it has to be taken back to the lab so I can study it—"

"If you found a piece of trash on the street, you'd take it back to the lab to study it," he derides. "Besides, the thing's busted. And on fire."

"Yeah, but how?" Leo inquires. He stoops down on his haunches and tilts his head, inspecting the machine. "It looks like a robot of some sort."

"A Kraang-droid?" Raph offers.

"No," I say, bending down beside Leo. "This one has a much different build. I think it was running on some sort of oil, and the Kraang are more advanced than that."

"That explains the fire," Leo says. "So does that mean Mikey ran into this thing?"

"Well, he's out here. Or he was before he misplaced his phone."

Raph scoffs. "So he took out this hunk of junk without calling any of us? Why does he get all the fun?"

"Wait, wait…" I pull my bo staff from the back of my shell and swat away the weakened flames before pulling what looks to be the robot's arm outwards.

"Is that blood?" Leo asks, his voice tinged with fear. "There, on the blade coming out from its wrist."

My eyes narrow and an uneasy feeling creeps into my gut. The dark red stains the edges of the rusty blade. If Mikey got hit with that…well, it wouldn't have been pretty.

"Blood?" Raph snarls. "Mikey's hurt?"

Leo stands to his feet. "We need to find him. _Now._"

"I'll check the perimeter of those three buildings to the left." I push myself off the ground with a knot growing in my stomach. "Raph, you get the two warehouses over there, and Leo can check—"

"Wait, shut up for a second!" Raph hisses. I fall silent and look around, waiting and listening.

"What is it?" Leo whispers.

"I thought I heard something…" Raph steps away from the broken robot and walks farther down the dock. The wood creaks slightly underneath him, and the waves pull in and out, washing around the beams support the wooden structure. I move to the guardrails along the side and glance over at the dark, frothing water. The cold spray soaks the wood and creates a hazy mist that slowly rises into the air. I wonder…

"There it is!" Raph shouts suddenly. "I heard it again—it must be coming from the end of the dock!" He takes off running down the moorage, and Leo and I waste no time to follow. Our feet thump across the creaking wood, the sound broken periodically by the crashing of waves upon the rocks and beams. We reach the end of the dock and stop everything to listen for the noise again, but Raph is already searching.

"I know I heard it over here… It sounded like Mikey." He stretches out over the edge of the berth, staring into the darkness of the waters. Leo does the same.

"You think he went in?" he inquires.

"If something spontaneously burst into flames while I was fighting it, I'd jump into the nearest puddle," Raph mutters.

I watch the two converse for a moment when a small sound catches my ears. I stop and listen, and sure enough, when the next wave hits and sloshes against the support beams, a faint thumping noise follows it, as if something is bumping up into the docks. I walk to the side and lean over as far as I can to see what might be underneath the structure.

But when I do, my heart jumps into my throat. "Mikey!"

~T~

{Leo}

Donnie cries out behind us. "Mikey!"

Raph and I whirl around and scramble to Donnie's side.

"What?" I shout. "You see him?"

"Where is he?" Raph practically shoves me aside and hangs over the side of the dock, trying to see whatever Donnie's seeing. And by the sound of his reaction, I'm guessing it's not good.

But before I can get a look, Raph's climbing up and over and throwing himself into the frothing waters. I reach out instinctively and call after him.

"Raph, wait!"

But he's already plunging headfirst into the tremulous sea.

"Donnie, get your staff ready to help pull them out," I order. He nods, his eyes flashing with fear. And when he speaks, his voice is reduced to a whisper.

"I saw him holding onto the metal ladder attached to the dock down below," he explains quietly. "But Leo…he wasn't moving."

I swallow and shove down the thought. "Raph will get him out."

Donnie keeps his eyes to the dark water and says nothing more. We both stand ready, listening to Raph splash and grunt as he struggles to carry Mikey out from under the dock. He's panting when he finally comes into view, coughing up water as he tries to swim and hold Mikey above the churning waves.

"Now, Donnie!" I shout. Donnie lowers his staff obediently, and we both grab hold of it before Raph wraps his free hand around the wooden pole. Donnie and I grunt, straining to lift the two of them out from the waters without snapping the weapon. We get them a good few feet out of the water before Raph manages to take hold of the side of the dock on his own and heave Mikey over his shoulder. I scramble to grab Mikey's limp body and pull him against me until I've got him completely over the side rails. Raph climbs over the edge and drops down with a groan, dripping wet and shaking from the cold water.

"I think he's unconscious," Raph says between coughs and sputters. "But he's still breathing."

I lower Mikey to the ground and Donnie immediately begins examining him.

"His body temperature is dangerously low," he says frantically. "And his pulse isn't good. We need to get him back to the lair."

"What's wrong with his skin?" I ask. "There: his legs and hands are blistered and swollen."

Donnie tilts his head and tenderly lifts up the wounded appendages. "Burns, I think. Most likely from the robot. If he had gotten any of that oil on him during the fight…"

Images flash behind my eyes and I clench my jaw. Images of Mikey, in pain and alone, struggling to keep his head above the waters as his wounds rage. My fingers curl into fists at my sides. I shouldn't have let him leave—I should have kept him there with the rest of us!

"Both of you, just shut up!" Raph snarls, shoving me aside. "We have to get him home!" He hauls Mikey's unconscious form over his back and starts running back towards the city.

I begin to chase after him until I realize Donnie isn't following. I stop and turn to see him standing there on the dock.

"I need to get the robot," he says quickly. My eyes widen.

"What? No! We need you at home to help Mikey! The heap of scrap metal can wait!"

"But it might not be here if I come back later!" Donnie snaps. "And we have to know what it is! We have to know what's going on, and who's to blame for hurting Mikey!"

My lip curls and I snarl, "Fine! Whatever!" I turn on my heels and kick the steaming pile of machinery away from the glowing remnants of the fire so that Donnie can scoop it up as fast as possible.

"It's hot!" he shouts, hissing in pain.

"Well we're not standing around to wait for it to cool down!" I bark. "Either grab it now or kiss it goodbye!"

He winces at the heat, but he doesn't drop the crumpled machine, and we both tear off after Raph with our hearts beating out of our chests.

~T~

{Raph}

"Come on—stay with me, Mikey," I huff as I weave my way through the empty streets. "Please…"

Leo and Donnie keep on my heels, but I hardly notice them. In fact, everything around me has melted into a blur of mushy grays and blacks. The rush of blood and the thundering of my heart are the only things I can hear, and I can't feel or think anything past the gaping hole forming in my gut. He's hurt, he's bleeding, he's ice cold and he's probably dying and it's all my fault—

I stumble over a crack in the asphalt and curse under my breath, struggling to hold Mikey as still as I can. We need to get home. We have to get back to the lair before—

Before what?

No, I won't let myself think like that. We've been through thick and thin; no one's dying on me now!

"Raph!" Leo's voice, faint, distant, like he's shouting at me across worlds. I manage to stop, manage to control my body past the numbness seeping through me, and I look back.

"We need to get below ground!" Donnie calls. The pumping of blood roars in my ears and the sound of my breath is like a whirlwind. I swallow past a dry throat and stagger towards my brothers, feeling hollow and cold.

Leo lifts a manhole cover and Donnie hops down below the surface, carrying the crumpled remains of the machine. Leo looks up at me, motioning for me to follow. I stand there, panting and trembling, staring into the black that drops beneath the streets.

"Raph, come on," Leo says softly. He steps towards me and wraps his hand around my wrist, giving a gentle tug to move me along. "We gotta get home."

I nod weakly and shift Mikey's body onto my back. I hold him with one hand and take hold of the sewer ladder with the other, slipping into the depths. My arms and legs are shaking from the strain as I descend the ladder. I jump down, skipping the last few rungs, and splash into the shallow waters. I run after Donnie on legs that feel like rubber. The sound of water breaking around our feet echoes throughout the tunnel as we go. My lungs are strained, my heart is pounding, and my entire body is aching.

The familiar stench of the sewers doesn't even register to me. I can't think or breathe past the fear turning my blood to ice. Tears burn across the rim of my eyes and my jaw clenches so tight, my teeth grind beneath the pressure.

Because all I can see is the image of Mikey flashing behind my eyes, lifeless and freezing, his arms weakly wrapped around the bars of the ladder as the waves push and pull at his small, wounded frame.

And all I can think of is the look in Splinter's eyes when we bring our brother's body home.


	4. Chapter 4: Peeling Back the Skin

**Author's Note:** Ta-da! Some bro-feels for all of you! And don't worry, the actual turning-human thing is going to happen in two chapters. Sorry for the wait! I've just been coming up with this along the way and adding a bunch, so it's turning out to be a bigger project than I first thought. Oh, and I've decided that this story officially takes place after the season one finale, where Leo brings down the Technodrome and the Kraang are defeated-except in this version, the Kraang really are defeated. No offense to them, but I've got enough to work with enemy-wise...and I've honestly never been able to take them seriously.

But anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to R&R!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own mutant teenage turtle ninjas or Nickelodeon. But you know, once this whole plot for world domination finally pans out, that'll probably change. We'll see.

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><p><span><strong>Chapter Four: Peeling Back the Skin<strong>

{Donnie}

"Raph, lay Mikey down on the table in my lab!"

I rush to my laboratory, slamming through the door with my shoulder and stumbling to the cabinets behind my desk. I drop the robot in the corner by the sink and hurriedly wash the oil and grime from my hands before fumbling around for the first aid kit.

"Leo, grab some towels and buckets from the closet over there!"

_Come on, where is it?_

Aha! I reach back behind some boxes and labeled canisters and snatch the medical kit just as Leo rushes over with the supplies.

"Water," I order, breathless. "Make sure it's cold." He nods and sets to work filling the buckets in the sink. I turn to the table and swallow as Raph gently lays Mikey's rag-doll form down. Blisters have already formed along the burns, and the injured skin is discolored and splotched red and white.

Leo hands me a clean, damp towel and I set to work sponging down the seared areas. The more I cleanse his wounds, the more relieved I am to find that they appear to be second-degree burns. Considering the situation he was in, we're lucky he isn't already dead.

The minutes tick by as I finish, and I toss the used towel back into the sink and reach for the bandages.

"We should be thankful he jumped into the ocean," I mutter as I begin to cut the dressing into strands.

"Thankful?" Raph scoffs. "He about froze to death!"

"Yes, but the cold helps the burns, and the salt water has disinfected the areas for us." I take Mikey's left hand first, carefully moving each finger away from the other so the burned skin doesn't stick together. "Leo, hold his fingers still while I wrap them."

He does as he's told, and the room falls deathly quiet save for the soft tear of the bandages as I pull them from their place on the table's edge. I gently bind one finger at a time, making sure they aren't too tight so that the wounds can breathe and the blisters won't be disturbed. It's painstakingly slow, and I hate the feeling of Mikey's limp, cold hand against mine. It just reminds me of how close we were to losing him.

"He'll be okay, right?" Raph whispers.

"Well, he's not going to die," I breathe. "But I can't say how well his wounds will heal. He might not be able to fight for a while…" I pause, wincing visibly at the words forming in my mind. "He might not wake up for a while, either."

Raph and Leo look up with wide, pained eyes and exclaim simultaneously. "What?"

I bite my lip as I start to bind the next hand. "The cold water helped, but it's probably the reason he went into shock. The injuries he's sustained and the energy he's lost along the way will take its toll on his body, physically and mentally. He could be out of it for a few days."

_Or longer._

But I don't say that part.

Leo holds my gaze, anxious and afraid. I try to keep my focus on the bandages as Raph glances back down at Mikey and sighs, burying his face in his palm.

"All this 'cause I couldn't keep my mouth shut," he groans. Leo puts an arm around him.

"Don't worry, Raph," he whispers comfortingly. "It'll be fine. He'll get better soon." He looks to me. "Right, Donnie?"

I take note of the edge in his voice and nod quickly. "We just need to be as careful as we can. If we do this right, he should heal up relatively fine."

"See? He'll be back to his old, obnoxious self in no time."

But Raph doesn't look convinced. In fact, it doesn't look like he's even listening to us anymore. Those green eyes of his are dark and clouded. I let out a deep breath, but it does little to relieve the heaviness in my chest.

Raph always takes things the hardest. Everything he feels, he feels it on a level of intensity much higher than my own—higher than Leo's, too. We have to be gentle so he doesn't just fall apart on us, but I don't know what else to say to him. Mikey's burns will take weeks to heal, and even after, his skin will still be extremely sensitive for a long time. It isn't going to be easy for him to recover. I can't lie to my brothers and tell them that Mikey will be fine in no time, but I can't risk breaking Raph, either.

I sigh to myself. Sometimes knowing just makes everything harder.

I've just finished bandaging the last finger when the door to my lab swings open.

"Sensei!" Leo shouts, standing at attention. Raph and I almost jump out of our skin, and all three of us are fumbling for the words as Sensei marches right for us with a look on his face that we all know too well. He pushes past Leo and Raph and his eyes land on Mikey's prone form. He stops, gasping and instinctively reaching out to touch his youngest son's pale face.

"Michelangelo," he breathes, his voice heavy with pain. His eyes clench shut for a moment before he whirls around to face the three of us.

"What happened?" he demands. "What have you boys done?"

Our responses are jumbled and overlap one another's as we fight to explain ourselves.

"We found him like this—"

"It was an accident—"

"We didn't know—"

But Master Splinter slams his jade staff down to the floor with a resounding _CRACK_, and we all fall silent.

His fierce gaze shoots to Leo, who automatically flinches beneath the weight of it. "Leonardo, come with me. _Now_."

Leo's head drops a little in fear and shame, but he follows after Master Splinter without a word. Raph, however, lunges out from behind Leo and grabs his arm protectively.

"But Sensei!" Raph exclaims, placing himself between our brother and Splinter. "It wasn't his fault! None of us knew—"

"Silence, Raphael!" Splinter shouts. "I will speak to Leonardo alone_._ You stay here and help Donatello heal your brother."

Raph's nostrils flare in protest, fighting the urge to argue with Splinter, but Leo puts a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay," he says quietly. He glances back and nods to the both of us in reassurance, but it does next to nothing for Raph. He watches them walk off, his fists clenched at his sides in frustration. The door shuts and leaves the two of us alone in the cold, empty silence of the lab.

~T~

{Leo}

The walk from Donnie's lab to Sensei's room feels like an eternity. My hands are shaking, my palms are sweating, and my heart is trying to break from my chest. I can't swallow right and deep breaths do nothing to calm me down. Sensei says nothing, not even after we enter his room and the door shuts quietly behind us. He keeps his back to me in a silence thick enough to taste, and it's all I can do to hold my composure.

The weight of conviction and fear and shame are enough to bring me to my knees. I bow my head until my neck aches from the strain, but I ignore the discomfort and hold myself to the ground, fighting the tremor making its way up my bones.

I've been here many times now. Trembling before Master Splinter, heavy with the consequences of my actions, waiting for him to strike me down with his staff or his words. Sometimes it's been both, but I personally prefer the staff. His words are swifter and sharper than any beating. They ring throughout my head, and unlike bruises, they never fade. But I know that everything he does, I deserve. This is all part of the burden.

"It's my fault, Sensei," I finally manage to say. "I made a mistake and let Mikey wander off on his own during patrol. I didn't believe there was any danger present, or that he would go as far as the docks, but that's no excuse…" I bow my head lower, gritting my teeth at the ache going down my spine. "I will accept whatever punishment you see fit to place upon me, Master."

He doesn't say anything for a moment. The silence is unnerving—I can hear his quiet breath, the rush of my blood, the pounding of my heart, the drop of sweat as it trails down the side of my face and hits the back of my hand.

He lifts his head and speaks with a deep voice. "I think your _punishment_ is lying half-dead in Donatello's laboratory."

I wince as his words drive into my gut like thousands of sharp knives. I take in a quivering breath, but I can't find the strength to say anything else.

"You have led your brothers long enough to find that every decision has a price…and that you will not always be the one paying it."

He still won't look at me, and somehow, that only makes it worse. I stammer for the words and my voice cracks beneath the heaviness in my chest.

"Yes, Master Splinter."

I watch his fingers curl up around his staff—in anger, pain, disappointment—I don't know, but I lower my head further and wait for the blow that doesn't come. Instead, there is only silence. The tension grows and grows and I feel like I'm going to snap—

"Stand up, Leonardo."

I stiffen at the tone in his voice and swallow anxiously. There's a moment of hesitation before I slowly rise on shaking legs and weak knees.

"Tell me, when did the situation fall out of your control?" he asks. But I know it isn't him simply asking a question—this is him reminding me, lecturing me, pressing the lesson into my mind until there's no room for anything else.

I try to hide the trembling from my voice. "When I let my brother go."

He turns to face me, and his eyes are as piercing as any blade, if not more so. I stand straighter and my heart skips rapidly.

"No, Leonardo—it was when you let your brothers make a decision for you. Your inability to trust in yourself as leader allows them to take control." He taps the edge of his staff along the rug, absently following the ancient patterns. "I have seen it happen many times, my son. When you second-guess yourself and show uncertainty, your brothers take advantage of you."

Frustration rears its ugly head to boil with the repressed anger, pain, and insecurities bubbling in my gut. Of course I know this—I deal with it every day. But no matter what I do, it doesn't stop. They'll never see me as their leader.

Heated by his accusations, I make the mistake of speaking out.

"You don't understand, Sensei. It doesn't matter what I do; they never listen to me—"

The staff comes down, loud and jarring, and I snap my mouth shut.

"Then you _make_ them listen!" he shouts. "I have given you authority over them and your missions—use it! Your brothers will never relent as long as they know you can be persuaded so easily. As leader, control is imperative, because once you lose it, you're nothing more than a puppet."

He steps towards me and I refrain from flinching. Our eyes are locked, his like fire, mine like the wet eyes of a child who knows they've done something wrong.

"Control is like energy: it cannot be created or destroyed—only redirected. The second you lose control is the second you hand it over to someone else, and that is all it takes for everything to fall apart."

He puts a firm hand on my shoulder, his eyes boring down into my soul with such intensity that I want to crumple to ash and be blown away.

"Believe me, my son, I understand that there are times when there is nothing you can do—but this was not one of those times. You may have thought nothing of letting Michelangelo run off for a while, but look what that one oversight cost you. Look at what it cost your family."

I lower my head and nod softly. "Yes, Father."

"Mistakes are necessary to learn and grow in your experience, Leonardo." He takes his hand from my shoulder and steps back, still holding my gaze. "But these are not the mistakes you want to learn from."

"I understand, Sensei," I whisper.

"I hope you do," he mutters. "Now go—meditate on this for the rest of the day on your own. Find your control and _keep it_, my son, or this will not be the last time you bring one of their bodies home."

~T~

{Raph}

"You don't have to stay in here with me," Donnie says suddenly, tearing me from my trance.

I look up. "What?"

He keeps his eyes on the bandages as he winds them across Mikey's leg. "I said you don't have to stay here."

I blink and open my mouth to protest when Donnie shakes his head, his eyes briefly flickering from his work to meet mine.

"I know you're worried about Leo, and there's really no point in you standing there anxiously. It's kind of distracting me anyway."

"I'm not worried," I bite. "I'm angry. He's probably in there telling Sensei it was all his fault and taking the fall for my mistake. Again."

"And that makes you mad?"

I practically shout. "Yes! He always does this! And then he goes off and sulks for forever and it makes me feel like dirt because he took the blame for something I did—"

"Raph," Donnie mutters, glaring at me. "I get that you're annoyed, but you need to keep it down. I'm trying to do something and we don't need to start anything else."

A low growl erupts in the back of my throat and I push out a breath. "Sorry, sorry… I'm just—"

"I know," he whispers. "It makes me mad too. But Leo is capable of making his own decisions, and I think he's learned by now that blaming us never goes well with Splinter."

"But _why_?" I groan. "Why won't Sensei listen? Why does he let Leo—"

"_Raph_," Donnie presses. "What did I just say about being quiet?"

"Oh," I say, brow knit. "Sorry. I didn't—"

"It's okay," he says quickly. "Look, I'll let you know when I'm done."

I give a slow nod as it registers in my cloudy brain that he doesn't want me in here. "Okay," I mutter. I turn from him, giving one last glance over my shoulder at Mikey before stepping out from the lab. The door swings shut behind me and my eyes rest on the door to Sensei's room. It's quiet. I wonder if Leo's still in there, or if he's gone into his room. I chew on the inside of my cheek and turn towards the hallway. I go to knock softly on Leo's door, but it's already open. I push to widen the gap and find his room empty and dark, just as I expected.

I close my eyes and sigh. I know where he is.

~T~

{Leo}

It's dark and quiet. I listen to the dripping pipes, to the tiny sounds of water lapping along the edges of the tunnel. I keep my eyes closed and my body still and I sit there in the silence, breathing slowly, steadily.

_Control. I need control._

Another deep breath.

_Control over myself, over my brothers, over every move we make._

And another.

_If I don't have control, someone else does; and if someone does, then I'm not the leader._

I clench my eyes tighter and tighter, fighting off the rising images of Mikey's wounded form. Sensations whirl throughout my being—wild, sharp, reckless. I feel the cold of the ocean, the sting of the burns, the empty hopelessness of drifting at the mercy of the waves. And for a moment, I think I'm imagining Mikey's pain, but I quickly realize this is my own. _I'm_ at the mercy of the waves. Without control, I'm letting myself be tossed around, pushed, pulled, drowned. I can't save myself, I can't save my family—I'm useless.

But there's an underlying emotion. A hollow, empty feeling that carves out my insides and leaves me more spent than the crashing waves.

I feel alone.

A sound snatches my attention, and my eyes snap open. Something moves through the water further down the tunnel. Footsteps, splashes, echoes of breath. I pull myself into a crouching position and slide a katana from its sheath, holding the blade perfectly still over my head as I wait.

But when the figure comes into view, I see that it's Raph. I relax a little and slip my sword back into its sheath.

"What's up?" I ask, slightly confused. I didn't think any of the guys knew of my little hiding place. "Is Mikey okay?"

But Raph doesn't answer me. He just marches right for me with a familiar and dangerous look in his eyes that makes my entire body stiffen.

"Raph, what're you—"

His hand shoots out and grabs me by the back of my shell, and he shoves me into the curved wall of the tunnel with enough force to knock the wind from me.

"Raph!"

"What did you tell Splinter?" he snarls, pinning me to the wet cement.

The pressure of his forearm against my throat increases slightly. I cough, fighting for the words beyond my utter bewilderment. What's his problem?

"Get off of me, Raph!" I croak. He rips me from my place against the wall and throws me into the water. The sound of my shell scraping against the concrete echoes across the sewers and I hit the ground with a grunt. I glare back at him, wiping the dirty water from my face, and I pull myself to my feet.

"What the heck was that for?" I snap.

"You took the blame for it again, didn't you?" he growls. When I don't answer, his lip curls, baring white teeth. "Didn't you, Leo?"

"Well I wasn't going to sit there and point fingers!" I shout. "Besides, what do you care? You never own up to anything anyway—"

His knee connects with my plastron and I fall backwards. Cold water rushes over me, and though it's shallow, it still manages to soak me through. I gasp in fear and frustration and anger, but before I can roll to the side, Raph slams me back down, his eyes burning bright green in the darkness of the sewers. I haven't seen him this mad for a long time.

"Raph!" I snarl, struggling beneath his weight. I twist and arch, but his grip on my wrists is like a vice. We both know he's stronger than me, but the hold he's got me in doesn't help, either. "Raph, get off of me!"

I grunt and manage to slip my leg between the two of us, and with a well-planted kick, I send him sprawling on his shell. I jump to my feet, heart thundering, and brace myself. Raph never stays down for long, and sure enough, he's right back on his feet and charging me. Our bodies collide and a wave of shock runs down through my bones. I grit my teeth and push back at him as the two of us fight for the upper hand.

"Raph, please—" I can feel myself slipping along the wet ground. "Just talk to me!"

He snarls and sweeps my legs from under me. I feel myself fall again, but I reach out and grab him by the arm, pulling him down with me. We both hit the ground with a grunt and the water sprays up around us. I twist onto my side before he can land a blow, but as I try to scramble away from him, he manages to grab my ankle, and he yanks me right back down. My jaw smacks into the curb of the tunnel and my vision flickers. Pain washes down my face, warm and sickening. I groan, momentarily losing my sense of balance, but a moment is all he needs to jump on me and pin me down on my stomach. I try to fight it, but he wrenches both of my arms up behind me, twisting my shoulders uncomfortably. I know there's no way out of this one, and after a moment of growling and squirming, I give up. My breath is ragged and my head is pounding.

"Alright, Raph," I pant. "You…win…"

I can hear him huffing behind me. I don't like that I can't see him and I don't like that I can't move. After all this talk about control, having it ripped out from under me so soon is absolutely maddening.

"You make me…so mad sometimes," he breathes. "Always playing perfect…never doing anything wrong."

A deep growl moves up my throat. "Then what would you call tonight?"

"That was my fault and you know it," he bites. "But I know you went before Splinter and took the blame for the whole thing. You probably didn't even mention that I started the fight, or that Donnie told you to let Mikey go. I bet you just sat there and let Sensei chew you out, just like you always do!"

I grit my teeth. "If there's something you want to say, then say it, Raph."

"It drives me nuts!" he snaps. "_You_ drive me nuts!"

"What did I do?" I ask incredulously. "Why are you always so mad at me?"

"Because!" His elbow smacks into the back of my skull. My breath hitches in alarm and the sudden pain is extremely disarming. "You're weak and strong at the same time and I just don't get it! You never fight back, but you never back down. You're the first to submit and the first to stand your ground. Every mission we've ever been on, you've taken the fall for. You've given up everything, sacrificed everything, knowing you'd get absolutely nothing for it!"

I wriggle beneath him, my irritation festering in my gut along with everything else. I have enough to deal with on my own—I certainly don't need a lecture from Sensei _and _Raph in the same hour.

But his weight keeps me down, and sensing my attempt to struggle, he jerks back on my arms, sending a shockwave of pain tearing through my muscles. I cry out and clench my jaw in rage.

"Knock it off!" I snarl. "Let me up!"

He leans in on me, increasing the pressure on my skull. I gasp for breath and stop squirming.

"You were ready to die for us when the Technodrome went down. You knew what it would cost you, and still, you fought to protect us. You gave your life up like it was nothing!"

"I did…what I had to do," I grimace at the warm pain seeping down the back of my neck. "You guys would've done the same."

"No, we wouldn't have," he mutters. "Did you see any of us volunteering to get blown up with the Kraang? Have you seen any of us go before Splinter after we've made a mess to tell him it was all our fault? No!"

I don't say anything.

"But it's not even like you're just taking the blame because you're the leader—it's like you're taking it because you honestly think everything's your fault."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I groan, avoiding the accusation. Honestly, he'd just get angrier if I told him that I really did think everything was my fault.

"Sensei always talks about the burden," he says. The tone of his voice has shifted now, and it makes me pause. "Always about how the burden of leadership is heavy, and how it only matters that you carry it. Well you know what, Leo? Every time you take the fall for something one of us did, _we_ feel like the burden. It's like you're always cleaning up after us and keeping track of us, and I'm tired of that. I don't want you to look at us and just see your responsibility, or the weight that's on your shoulders; I want you to look at us and see your brothers."

A sting runs across my nose. "What makes you think I don't see you as my brothers?"

He sighs. "Because everything you do, you do it alone. You don't ask us for help—you don't even expect it. You just go off and train and fight and get the job done without a single complaint. And you never talk to us. We can see the hurt in your eyes but you never say anything. You're always alone…and that's not fair."

Alone. The word rings across my mind, heavy and powerful. Because I know he's right—I never tell them anything. I wander off down here or up in the alleys to be by myself whenever I'm hurting. But the pain I feel isn't one they can understand, so what am I supposed to do?

"I hear you at night, you know," he whispers.

My eyes start to burn. "Let me up, Raph."

But he doesn't. He just keeps talking.

"I hear the nightmares wake you up and I hear you train for hours in your room when you're too afraid to go back to sleep."

His words catch the mass of emotions locked inside and ignite them, exposing all my weakness, my fear, my shame—everything I've tried so hard to bury.

"Leo, why don't you say anything? Why don't you let us help you?"

Not wanting to hear another word, I twist under him with a fresh wave of anger and spit. "Get off of me!"

His grip tightens and I hiss at the sharp sting.

"Why do you try so hard to hide it?" Raph demands. "Honestly, what's the point of family when all you do is keep secrets from us?"

And somehow, some way, may it be through the rush of anger or the sheer terror of having my layers stripped from me, I wrench my body out from underneath his and lash out with a kick so vicious, it knocks him back into the opposite wall.

He cries out and I can hear the splash of his body landing in the water. I jump to my feet, my legs tingling and buzzing as the blood rushes back into them, and I take off running down the tunnel. My vision is blurred and my eyes are stinging with the threat of tears, but I hold it back, because they can never see me like this.

They can't see how weak I really am. They can't see the fractures, the flaws, the little cracks compromising the fortress I have built myself up to be. Because who wants to follow someone like that?

I can hear him chasing after me and I push myself faster, gasping for breath, skidding and slipping and turning down every stray tunnel just to try to lose him. But in the raging torrent of my thoughts, I forget myself, and run into a dead end. Desperate, panting, aching, and cornered, I whirl around to see him standing at my only exit, his bright green eyes piercing through the darkness of the sewers.

"Just leave me alone!" I shout, my voice strained and a little hoarse. He holds my gaze and walks over to where I am, slow and deliberate, but I can tell by his stance that he's done trying to fight me. If I wasn't so upset, I'd be laughing at how the situation has turned on its head—now I'm the one acting crazy.

"I'm done doing that," he says quietly. I back up into the wall as he reaches me, though I don't know whether it's his fists or his words I'm trying to protect myself from.

He stretches out his hand and grabs hold of my forearm. "Now come here, you big baby." I tense up as he pulls me into one of his awkward 'Raph-hugs.' I don't return the gesture, mostly because I don't really like hugging, but I also don't move because I know that he's trying to comfort me the only way he knows how. Though I'm pretty sure he's just doing this because he knows it makes me uncomfortable.

"Look, Leo, we may not be able to understand whatever you're feeling, and I get that. I don't think any of you understand how I feel when I get angry about something. But going through it alone just sucks, and it doesn't need to be that way. You've got your brothers, alright?"

I nod and swallow past the lump growing in my throat. "Yeah."

"So knock off this whole 'Lone Wolf' thing and just be real with us. I get it, there's burden to being leader, and I've seen firsthand how much it sucks. So try sharing it."

I look down and sigh as all the adrenaline and anger dissipates. "I'm…I'm sorry. I'll try to let you in a little more."

He tightens the embrace in satisfaction. "Good."

A few seconds tick by, and I glance around. "Could you, uh, let me go now?"

"Nope," he says simply.

My brow arches. "Why not?"

"Because I know how much you hate hugs."

I groan and slump against him. "I should've kicked you harder."

He laughs and releases me to give my shoulder a sharp knuckle-punch for good measure. "That's what brothers are for."

"Guess so," I retort with a smirk. He grins and turns his back to me to head down the tunnel. I follow behind and give him a well-deserved smack upside the head.

"Hey!" he complains, rubbing the back of his head and glaring. I merely shrug.

"It's what brothers are for, right? Oh, and next time you have something on your chest, try talking to me first instead of trying to knock my brain loose."

He snorts. "Like you've got one to even knock loose!"

"Oh, you're one to talk," I prod.

He makes a sarcastic face and taps his chin thoughtfully. "I'm sorry, who was meditating in a sewer tunnel?"

I shove him aside and chuckle, shaking my head. "Shut up. We've gotta get home; Donnie's probably done fixing Mikey up, and we need to be there for him just in case he wakes up early."

Raph nods, but the change in subject brings a sad look to his eyes. "Yeah… I hope he'll be okay."

I keep my eyes on my feet as we walk, watching the water part as we go. "Donnie says he will be."

He doesn't say anything more to that. Silence envelopes us for what feels like forever, and there's only the sloshing of water around our feet to fill the quiet until we reach the turn that leads back to the lair. Raph stops for a moment and looks at me.

"I'm sorry," he says softly. "For always causing trouble. I don't mean to start anything, I just—"

"Hey," I interrupt. "It's fine. We've all got things to work on, right?"

He exhales and hesitates. "Yeah…"

"How about I start talking to you more, and you start listening. That sound good?"

He smiles and nods. "Yeah, sounds good."

I punch him lightly in the shoulder and grin. "Good. Now let's go see our brother."


	5. Chapter 5: Trust Issues

**Author's Note:** When I first started watching the series, I loved Donnie and April...and then Karai came into the picture. Thus began the glorious and awkward relationship of Leo and Karai. But seriously, these two characters have so much depth and they're my absolute favorite. I hope I managed to capture the two of them correctly in this chapter. Oh, and the "..." thing in Leo's POV is signaling that time has passed, since I can't do my usual spacing.

Again, sorry that it's short. It was just one of those pieces that ended on a nice spot. But I'll get the next chapter out this weekend, so no worries. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you guys enjoy! Reviews are appreciated :)

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own TMNT or Nickelodeon. Pinky and the Brain definitely need to speed up this world domination process.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Five: Trust Issues<span>**

{Donnie}

It's quiet with everyone gone—especially with Mikey, the notorious noise-maker, fast asleep beneath the heat lamp on my laboratory table. Tired, aching, and exhausted in every aspect of the word, I lean into the back of my chair and let my heavy lids droop in an effort to sleep…but it's fitful and restless. I keep slipping into shallow nightmares of mistakes, of bandaging his wounds too tight, of overlooking an infectious spot, or not cleaning the burn sites well enough. My tired eyes continue to peel open so I can check over and over again in an attempt to dismiss the doubtful thoughts, but it doesn't help much. This always happens when I'm in charge of doctoring one of the guys.

And finally, after another hour of battling my worrisome thinking, I begin to drift off into actual sleep… But then the door opens, and Leo and Raph poke their heads through.

I glance at them with one eye open, but as I quickly note their condition, I sit up in my chair. They're both soaked, their wrappings dirtied and washed with the tinge of faded blood, and they're covered in fresh bruises and cuts. Raph's nose is crusted over with dried blood, and Leo keeps rubbing his jaw idly, like it hurts.

"What happened to you two?"

"Sparring," Leo says, shrugging. I roll my eyes and shake my head. Honestly, these two really need to find another way to talk to each other.

Raph pushes his way through the door first and grins smugly. "Leo lost."

I drum my fingers along the edge of the table and glance over Leo's many abrasions. "I can see that."

He shoots a glare at me as he follows Raph in. "He jumped me—it was hardly fair."

"Didn't Sensei lecture you not too long ago about being 'fair'?" Raph sneers. "Or do I need to go tell him you haven't learned your lesson yet?"

"No, no," Leo spurts. "I'm good."

Raph chuckles. "Thought so. So Donnie, how's Mikey doing?"

I take a deep breath and push off of my chair. "His vitals are stabilized, and I've managed to bring up his body temperature." I stand at the table and adjust the small heat lamp. "Other than that, there's little else we can do other than cleaning his wounds and changing his dressing every day. The burns could take a while to show any improvement, and they'll most likely get worse before they get better. We'll have to keep an eye out for infection."

Leo and Raph both stand on the opposite end of the table, staring down at our sleeping little brother.

"He doesn't look like he's in pain, at least," Raph mutters. "Couldn't we try, you know, waking him up?"

I shake my head. "Not a good idea. We don't need him going into shock again, and besides, he needs the rest more than anything. We'll just have to wait."

Raph frowns. "Yeah, I'm not too good at that."

"We know," Leo murmurs. Raph growls at him and pulls back his arm to slug our blue-banded brother, but I throw a bloody strip of cloth at him before he can hit Leo.

"Not in here," I say loudly. Well, as loud as I can with Mikey sleeping right there. "You two can go beat each other up somewhere else."

Raph's face scrunches in disgust as he brushes off the dirty bandage, and he rolls his shoulders. "Sounds good to me."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass." Leo gives Mikey a gentle pat on the head. "Thanks, Donnie. I'll see you guys in a few hours." I nod in response and he turns to leave, but Raph's at his heels before he can get out the door.

"Wait, where are you going?"

Leo glares accusingly over his shoulder. "To go finish meditating."

Raph's eyes widen incredulously. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." He opens up the door and steps outside. "And don't even think about following me again."

I can hear Raph scoff as he follows Leo out. "Or what?"

Leo flashes a grin and raises his brow. "Or I'll tell Sensei."

That stumps the hot-tempered turtle, and he growls, irritated. "Oh, 'cause that's mature."

I smile to myself, shaking my head in humorous disbelief and listening to their conversation as it's carried beyond the lab.

"Hey man, Sensei told me to. I have some things to work out, alright? So if you'll excuse me…"

There's a brief moment of silence while I assume Leo walks out, most likely leaving Raph standing there with his forehead vein visibly pulsing in annoyance.

"You're not meditating, you're napping!" Raph shouts a moment later. "I know the difference!"

~T~

{Leo}

Okay, so maybe I did fall asleep five minutes into my reflection, but he can't prove it. Besides, it's not like Sensei can tell the difference.

But the day went by so slow, it reminded me of when I got an arrow stuck in my calf and Donnie had to pull it out millimeter by millimeter. There was nothing to do but go off by myself and try to focus on what Sensei said, but I couldn't even do that…hence the napping. After my conversation with Raph—if you could call it that—I just felt more pent up. I understand why he was upset, and I know he's right. But even with all of that, even with him offering to share the burden, I still feel off. I don't want to say that I feel alone, because I know I have my family, but still, somehow, I am alone in a sense. There's only so much of the burden I can share, and while Raph had said I make them feel like the burden, it's really the opposite. _I_ feel like the burden. Of course, they don't help when they refuse to listen to me or talk back, but most of it is me, and no amount of brotherly fights and therapeutic talks will ever change that.

But there is someone who helps; someone I've been itching to talk to all day as I wait for the night to come. And finally, after such a painstakingly long time, the sun dips down and cloaks the city in darkness. I'm already geared up and ready to get to the surface, but I know I have to hide it from my brothers. There are some things they won't ever understand.

And so, after making sure Sensei's asleep and my brothers are otherwise occupied, I sneak out of the lair and move through the sewers, making sure to take extra turns to divert anyone who might be following me, and I escape to the surface.

...

The night wanes on. I've stopped pacing and opted for sitting along the edge of the building, tapping my fingers absently to some stray tune weaving through my thoughts. It doesn't matter where I go: I know that if I sit and wait long enough, she'll turn up. She always does.

And after another stretch of time I haven't cared to count, my ears catch the faint sound of her soft footsteps amongst the bustle of night-life traffic and noise. I lift my head and smile to myself.

"Karai."

"Leo." She walks up behind me and stops, still out of my sight. I've never kept my back to an enemy, but Karai is different. She's had too many opportunities to kill me and hasn't. She's possible the only person I will knowingly allow to sneak up on me and not do anything about it—heck, I don't even let my _brothers _do that. And there's something exhilarating about waiting to see what she's going to do.

She waits at my back for a moment, probably trying to read me and determine if we're going to fight at all or not. But I keep still and wait for her to move slowly to my side and sit down next to me. I don't look at her and she doesn't look at me. We both stare out at the city before us, at the twinkling lights and the cars moving through the streets so far below. She lets her legs dangle over the edge and pulls something out of her belt.

"I found something for you." I glance at her as she hands me the object, and my eyes quickly widen as I realize what it is.

"Mikey's T-phone?" I ask dumbly. "Where'd you get this?"

She shrugs casually. "Around."

My eyes narrow as I search her face for answers. "Why were you out at the docks?"

She smiles and her gaze flickers to mine for a split second. "I don't believe that's any of your business, Leo."

"He almost died," I bite. "I think that makes it my business."

She stretches her arms and yawns, like she couldn't care less, and a small fire sparks to life in my gut. She looks at me for a moment, most likely noting the tension in my body, and her lips tug up into a half-smile.

"Relax—it's not like I had anything to do with it. I just found it on the ground and thought you might want it back."

I arch a brow. "Uh-huh."

I don't think she's lying, but she's not being entirely truthful, either. I reach back and slide one of my swords out from its sheath. And then, holding her gaze, I place the phone down on the concrete roof and smash it to pieces with the hilt of my katana. Her eyes grow slightly, a gesture I almost don't pick up on.

"Just in case you had any ideas about tracking me or blowing me up or something," I explain with a polite smile. She grins and chuckles.

"Whatever, Leo."

Silence consumes the next few minutes. We both sit there and watch life move beneath us until she breaks the trance with a question that surprises me.

"Is he okay?"

I look up at her. "What?"

"Your brother," she clarifies. "Is he okay?"

It takes me a moment to formulate a response. "Uh, yeah. I mean, he's alive…" I trail off and avert my eyes to the city streets. "Donnie says he'll take a while to heal. He got burned pretty bad, and he still hasn't woken up...but he'll be okay."

I'm not looking at her, but I know she's looking at me. The weight of her gaze is heavy and uncomfortable and I keep my eyes elsewhere, hoping she'll stop before I start to sweat.

"Something else is wrong," she presses. "What is it?" I pretend to be distracted by the sights below, but she doesn't drop anything easily. "_Leo_."

It's probably a creeper-level weird, but I like hearing her say my name. And it's funny, because she always makes it sound like a threat.

A mischievous smile spreads my lips and I stand up, unsheathing my katanas. "Beat me and I'll tell you."

She looks up, her brow arched in amusement, and smiles back. Rising to her feet, she slips her sword out from the sheath on her hip. "Deal."

And then the world makes sense again. We go at it, jumping back and forth across the rooftops, lashing out with swords that gleam in the moonlight. My thoughts melt away and everything stops until it's just her and I, dancing to a song only we know, our feet moving in unison, our blades singing across one another as we fight. The motion is a rhythm; familiar, exciting, comforting—something that lets my shell break and collapse around me with every slash, every pivot and tumble until all my worries and concerns drip away from me. I feel so much lighter, so much faster. I don't have to think about anything.

Our battle takes us from building to building. Through pivots, tumbles, stabs, and twists, we engage one another in a game I've grown so fond of. I twirl my swords overhead, dodging her well-placed strikes, flipping backwards through the fire escapes and running up the pipes lining the high-risers. The only sound is our breath, matched in pace and depth, and our blades clashing in the night. Sweat drips down my brow and my muscles begin to burn under the pressure, but I keep pushing myself. Sparring with her is somehow more intense than any other training I've done. I don't know if it's because she's really trying to hurt me or because she's just as pressed and focused as I am. She's unpredictable, raw, cunning, and cruel—supposedly the exact opposite of me, and yet, there's a connection. A bond I can't seem to shake. I look at her and I see myself, but in a different light. I see someone lost at the mercy of the waves, fighting and pushing simply because the alternative is to drown. We may be in two separate oceans, but we're both struggling to find a grip on solid ground.

I just can't get her out of my head. She's the one thing in my life I have absolutely no control over, and it thrills me to no end.

Time slips through my fingers as we fight. Precious time, lost in the sweat that drips from our bodies and the thin lines of blood we draw in teasing threats to best one another. I wait until my muscles are the aching equivalent to limp noodles before I finally allow her to trip me up. I hate losing, but I like the confident, smug look she gets on her face when she thinks she's beaten me. And of course, allowing myself to lose before she really actually beats me keeps my pride intact.

I force myself to slow down long enough for her to sweep my legs out from under me. I hit the hard, cold concrete and follow the deadly flash of light of her sword as she points it at my throat. I raise my hands in surrender, smiling softly, my chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

"You did that...on purpose," she pants. "Didn't you?"

I shrug. "Maybe."

She kicks me in the shin. Hard. I try to conceal my pain and pass it off through a simple wince as I push myself to my feet.

"So you gonna tell me or what?" she asks, leaning against ventilation system.

I slip my swords into their sheaths on the back of my shell with a satisfyingly familiar _shhee_. "Huh," I mutter, tapping my chin. "You know what? I must've forgotten."

She lets out a deep sigh and shakes her head. "I should stab you."

"Well that would be awfully ambitious of you," I tease. "Same time tomorrow?"

She purses her lips and puts her sword away. "You know, I think I'm busy tomorrow."

I scoff. "Doing what?"

She flashes a grin that sends a cold shiver down my spine. "That would be spoiling the fun, now wouldn't it?"

She moves to leap off the rooftop in one of her theatrical exits, but I bite my lip and call after her.

"Uh…Karai?" I ask sheepishly. She stops on the building's edge and glances back at me. Her eyes glint in the moonlight, dark and laced with suspicion and curiosity.

"Yeah?"

"I, uh, didn't really forget." I rub the back of my neck and avoid eye contact. "I mean, if you're not busy—but I totally get it if you are, I just—"

"Spit it out, Fearless." The nickname shocks me. Only Raph ever calls me that, which means she must've overheard him at some point in our patrols. The thought turns slowly in my mind and grows, like a snowball rolling down a hill. Does that mean she's been following us? How long? And where? What has she seen and heard?

_Not now, don't think about it now,_ I mentally scold. _You should have expected it anyway._

I swallow and try to shake off the idea. "Could we just sit down and talk for a bit?"

Her facial features shift as she tries to detect the threat that isn't there. "What for?"

I shrug. "I don't know… I just feel like I need to talk to someone. You know, other than my brothers."

She eyes me warily before sighing and hopping down from the roof's edge. "Alright, but the second I get bored, I'm out."

And so we sit down along the ledge of the high rise, right back where we started, and despite all of the warning bells going off in my head, I tell her everything. I tell her about finding Mikey, about facing Sensei, fighting Raph, and all the thoughts swirling in my head about not being good enough. Everything I've ever been taught about concealing information from the enemy is forgotten as the words spill from my mouth, and slowly, all my weaknesses are exposed to the most dangerous person I know.

She sits beside me in silence, listening intently, her eyes on the streets below. I clench my fists in my lap as I finish and wait for her to say something. Seconds go by, but they may as well be lifetimes from my position. I take a deep breath and shake my head, reprimanding myself.

"Sorry, I know that was a lot. I shouldn't have gone off like that…"

She stands to her feet and a sliver of fear courses through me. I must've bored her. Of course, she doesn't want to hear any of this—she just comes here for…

I pause when I realize that I don't know the answer to that. What _does_ she come here for? But when I turn my head to look at her, something changes. Her demeanor has shifted into one of uncertainty and…is that defeat? Fear? Pain? My brow knits as I search her, but the more I see, the more confused I become. Her face has softened, if only slightly, and her eyes are filled with emotions that betray her typically collected composure.

"I wanna show you something," she says quietly. She extends her hand, and I stare at it for an awkwardly long moment before taking it and pulling myself to my feet.

"Um, okay," I whisper, put off by the sudden swing in behavior. "Where are we going?"

"Just follow me."

~T~

{Karai}

I don't know what I'm doing. Every single step I take, I become more and more uncertain. I'm not supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to falter in the sight of the enemy. Not supposed to show weakness, or pity, or any feelings in general.

But here I am, leading him to the only place I have to call my own. A place where the walls and stones have witnessed something no one else ever will; the moments where the barriers I've forged collapse around my feet, where the deceptive curtains and masks burn and blacken and wither into ash. Those moments when I see that I have no idea who I really am.

He says nothing. I can feel the tension radiating off of him. He doesn't trust me. That's fine; I don't trust me either.

I lead him down the dark streets and winding alleys; between the suffocating towers that pierce the night sky and reduce us all to ants wandering the channels of this industrial maze. He follows quietly, but I can practically hear his heart pounding in his chest and the gears turning over in his mind as he attempts to analyze the situation to the best of his ability. He's probably mapping out the threats in his head, keeping track of what buildings we pass, noting escape routes in case I turn on him or lead him into a trap. I don't know if it hurts or not that he switches so often. One moment, he'll be trusting me with his life, and the next, he'll be looking at me like I'm going to kill him. There's so much caution and fear laced between whatever relationship we've cultivated. Weeds amongst the flowers.

But I don't blame him. In fact, I'd be a little insulted if he wasn't somewhat afraid.

We finally reach the alley. It's a dark, narrow passageway tucked neatly between two rugged buildings in a practically abandoned section of the city, where the only residents are gang members, fugitives, drug addicts and drifters. The transient ghosts of city-life who want nothing more than to stay below the filthy underbelly of society and commit their sins in peace. The curbs and gutters are lined with trash, broken glass, shredded articles of clothing and a number of other things I have no interest in identifying. The stench of liquor, cigarettes, and sweat is so thick, it's permeable. It's quite possibly the roughest, most ghetto hell-hole of an area in all of New York. The type of place where bodies are dumped and people disappear. No one in their right mind would wander back here—not even the police dare to set foot in these streets. And that's exactly why I picked it.

I can sense his anxiety. It comes off of him in waves. He keeps glancing behind us, his swords drawn in defense as his eyes flicker warily from one corner to another.

"Karai?" he whispers. His voice sounds so small, so unsure. Afraid, even. I bet his head is ringing with alarms; it must be deafening. I smile to myself and step into the deep shadows of the narrow alleyway, waiting for him to follow.

And of course, he hesitates.

"Karai, please, just tell me what's going on."

My smile widens and I twist around on my heels to face him. His eyes are wide and alert and gleaming with fear. He looks so cute standing there, flinching at every sound like he's some sort of trapped creature.

"I guess you'll have to follow me and find out." I tilt my head at him. "Do you trust me, Leo?"

And then I turn and head deeper into the passageway, concealing myself in the darkness. It's not even a game anymore—I really, truly want to see how far he'll go for me. I want to know the extent of his trust…and then, maybe I'll find the extent of mine.


	6. Chapter 6: The Hiding Place

**Author's Note: **Whoo! It's slowly coming along. Here's another chapter for you guys; I hope you all like it! Oh, and as you can probably guess after reading, neither Leo or Karai are aware that Shredder is not her father. We gotta save those feels for later!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy reading, and as always, reviews are appreciated. Thank you!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own TMNT or Nickelodeon, but if I did, the world would be an infinitely better place and world peace would be achieved.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Six: The Hiding Place<span>**

{Raph}

_"Raph?"_

_ The small, quiet voice stirs me from my sleep. I roll over with a grunt to see my little brother standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the dim hallway light._

_ "What's wrong?" I mumble, stifling a yawn. "Bad dream?"_

_ The small turtle gives a torpid nod. _

_"Why don't you go to Leo's room?" I grumble, slightly irritated. He averts his eyes to the floor and shifts his weight from one foot to another._

_"He moves too much in his sleep."_

_I stare at him for a moment, debating in my mind before I finally give in. I sigh and scoot over in the bed._

_ "Come here," I whisper. He walks stiffly from the door to my bedside and crawls onto the mattress, curling up next to me. I watch him get comfortable and refrain from saying anything mean about how he's too old for this._

_ "Thanks, Raphie."_

_ "Yeah, whatever," I yawn. "And don't call me that. We're not five anymore."_

_ He chuckles to himself and snuggles deeper in the pillows. My eyes narrow, but I pull the blanket over the both of us without another word._

_ "'Night, Raph," he says drowsily. I grunt in response._

_ "Yeah…'night."_

_ He falls asleep in mere minutes, snoring softly beside me while I lay awake, listening._ _My eyes begin to close when the sound of his breath suddenly stops, and another sound takes its place. I pause and hold my breath as my senses heighten instinctively._

_ "Mikey?" I whisper. He doesn't answer, and the strange sound suddenly intensifies. I move to sit up when it hits me._

_ Cold. Ice cold, crashing waves. The salty mass slams into me, washing all the familiar things away, and I gasp for breath, flailing desperately against the rising waters._

_ "Mikey!" I shout, choking and sputtering. I thrash and kick to stay afloat, but it's like the waves are draining the strength from my limbs, and I start to sink. _

_ Water rushes into my lungs. I cough as it fills my chest and wrenches me down._

_ No! No, please—_

_ "Mikey!" I gargle up as much fluid as I can and push myself to the brink of my limits. I have to find him, I have to find him—_

_ But the waters are dark and endless. The crushing, frothing surf pounds into me, knocking me back further and further, no matter how far I force myself to swim. I'm taken under again and again, swirling in the deep, icy black of the sea. I don't know which way is up or down. There's no light, no surface—just suffocation and fear. _

_My lungs take in more water than air—_

_No!_

_I feel like I'm dying—_

_ But I can't. I can't! I have to get to Mikey—_

_ Another wave pulls me down. Relentless, unforgiving. No way out, there's no way out—_

_ I try to swim upwards. Clawing at the thick waters, my precious oxygen seeps out through my muffled screams. I can see him, he's just up ahead—_

_ But he's not moving._

_ I have to reach him—_

_ And he's not breathing._

_ Please, let me reach him—_

_ And I think he's dead._

_ NO!_

_ A torrent comes down at me, dragging me beneath the foaming swells, and I can't breathe—_

_ I can't think—_

_ I can't do anything!_

_ He's dead—my brother is dead—_

_And it's all my fault._

"Ah!" My body jerks forth in my bed and I sit up, gasping for breath. I frantically search my side for my little brother, but all I find is an empty space and wrinkled sheets. Sweating, shaking, trembling, I tumble off the edge of the mattress and hit the cold ground.

_Cold. The water was so cold._

_ His body was so cold._

I groan in pain and fear, clutching my head and burying my face between my knees and my chest as I lie curled up on the floor. I can't breathe—I can't…I can't breathe—

The noise that escapes me, I have no word for. It's strangled and sharp, but deep with agony and fright, like an animal caught in the jaws of a steel trap. The cry quickly melts and drips down into muffled sobs that rack my entire body. I blink back the tears, fighting them, but the sensation overcomes me because all I can think of is the way he looked in the water. And it's my fault—it's all my fault!

I grit my teeth and clench my body against the emotions that overwhelm me. I try to control my ragged, shallow breaths and focus on reality.

He's not dead. He's okay—he's alive. My little brother is alive…

It takes an eternity. Between the hiccups and the violent shivers, I manage to regain some composure and pull myself off the ground. I lean back on the bedside table and close my eyes, breathing in and out, slow and steady. We're all okay…and we'll always be okay…

I continue to take deep breaths and focus on calming thoughts as the reality of the nightmare slowly recedes and leaves me feeling drained and spent. But I don't care; I'm awake and my family is fine. That's all the matters to me, anyway.

A small noise from the corner of my room alerts me. I look up with wide eyes that rest on Spike's glass terrarium, and I sigh in relief.

"Sorry," I whisper with a faint smile. "Didn't mean to wake you, bud." The turtle blinks at me in the darkness, but it's one of the few times the little guy can't fix me. I get up on sore, stiff legs and tap the glass of his cage affectionately before slipping out the door.

…

"Thanks for letting me crash here, Don," I say as I stretch out on the couch I've moved into the lab. He nods, semi-distracted by his work.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem. Just—"

"Just keep it down, I know," I grumble. "Geez, what're you all high-strung for anyway?"

He takes a moment to answer. I can see his eyes skimming feverishly over a bunch of nonsense equations written on the dozens of papers littering his desk. He frowns, tapping the side of his mouth with his pencil and shaking his head.

"No…that won't work…" He flips his blackboard over and starts drawing across the whole thing. The scraping of the chalk makes my teeth grind together. My eyes narrow as he continues to mumble under his breath.

"Maybe… Right? No, that's all wrong…"

I lie there, clenching my fists around the blanket and trying to hold my tongue, but he's not making it any easier with his constant technobabble. I try closing my eyes, but the sound of the chalk is driving me nuts.

"No, mutagen doesn't work that way on a subatomic level—I'd have to reverse the polarity of the entire mechanism to get that sort of outcome…"

I sit up with a groan. "What are you doing, man? It's like, three in the morning."

He doesn't even bother to look at me. "Look, Raph, either you sleep in here or you leave. I'm busy, alright?"

I raise my brow at his domineering tone. I would say something right back, but then he'll make me sleep in my own room, and I really don't want that. So I sigh, shoving all the crude remarks down my throat and tugging my blanket over me.

"Fine, fine, whatever." I curl into the soft cushions, my eyes resting on Mikey's sleeping form. I don't know how well I'll be able to sleep, but I know I'm better off in here, where I can see my little brother. The last thing I need is to wake up from the nightmares alone.

I close my eyes after a moment of watching Mikey's chest softly rise and fall, and in the dim light of the laboratory, I calm my senses and listen to Donnie mutter under his breath as he scribbles down line after line of schematics. I have no idea what he's working on, or why he's so stressed out, but I guess he's always like that. Always doing something, fiddling around with his machines and accidentally blowing stuff up. If anyone needs to learn to meditate, it's Donnie.

Speaking of which…

"Hey, Donnie," I mumble, opening my eyes slightly. "Have you seen Leo?"

"Not since earlier," he says distractedly. "But I wouldn't worry about it. You know how he gets."

I frown. "Yeah… I guess." I huff out a breath and roll over into the back of the couch. So I storm off when I'm upset and everyone thinks I have anger issues, but Leo takes off all the time and no one says anything? How is that fair? I should've hit him harder when I cornered him earlier. I can't believe he'd just run off while Mikey's still out cold. What if he woke up?

"So much for being our big brother," I grumble to myself.

~T~

{Leo}

"Do you trust me, Leo?" A hint of a smile, a flash in her eyes. Triumph. Defeat. Fear. Certainty. She seems so sure, and yet, so tentative. Her signals are mixed and blended into a jumble that I can't sort out, and all my defenses are swept out from beneath me.

She vanishes in the black, leaving me standing in the alleyway alone. I glance back behind me, my breath catching in my throat as I fight the rising fear.

_Come on, Leo, get it together!_

I clench my jaw and push away the swarming thoughts. Do I trust her? I don't know… I really, honestly don't know.

My fingers tighten along the hilt of my swords and I grit my teeth, biting back at the doubt. I do trust her. I _have_ to trust her. She needs to understand the way I feel about her; the light I have placed her in.

And so, stomping out the flames of alarm spurring across my entire being, I sheathe my weapons and follow her into the darkness.

It's cold and dark and it stinks, but not as much as it did outside. I can't see anything, so I keep my hand along the wall and listen to her footsteps for direction. The tunnel is narrow, and I almost trip over myself when the ground suddenly drops into a set of stairs.

"Watch your step," she says, purposefully too late.

I bite down a snarky retort, but the sarcasm still manages to wriggle in there. "Thanks."

We keep going. For how long, I can't say. It may be mere seconds, maybe a few minutes, but the black manages to get blacker and the deep becomes deeper, until the stairs end and the floor extends into the darkness. My eyes have adjusted, but not by much. I stay beside the staircase when I realize Karai's not there anymore. I tense, instinctively holding my breath in anticipation, but I don't reach for my swords, despite my itching fingers. I have to trust her completely…

Something clicks and a light suddenly switches on above. I wince and blink away at the pain as my eyes react to the shift. I have to squint, but I let my gaze sweep the room and take in as much detail as I can.

The floor is bare, cold concrete. An old lamp gently sways from the ceiling, along with makeshift mobiles fashioned from twine and shards of stained glass. A faint draft from whatever's around the room rustles the decorations, and the glass softly clinks together, almost like wind chimes. Stacks of worn boxes and clutter mark the back corners, and a dark, wooden bookcase lines the wall to my left. A messy scatter of a few different knives and a sword fill the top two shelves, and the rest are covered in random oddities, picture frames, a small book, and sparse white candles. There's a couch to my right; a light, blue gray color with a torn cushion and mismatched throw pillows—how she got that down here, I have no clue.

I absorb my surroundings with a newfound interest as I begin to understand what this place is.

It's hers.

"Why'd you bring me down here?" I ask after a moment of dazed and profound realization.

She keeps her back to me and looks up to watch the little pieces of glass sway and chime.

"I don't know," she whispers. "I figured the whole rooftop and alley thing was getting old."

I study her. Her stance, her composure, the way her eyes are locked onto the glass like it's something beautiful. I've never seen her like this before. She's so…relaxed. Really, truly comfortable, like she knows she's safe here. No tension, no subconscious drift of her hands to her sword, no steel glint in her eyes—she's just…here.

"So this is your place," I say, looking up at the ceiling fixtures curiously. I wonder if she made all of those. "Where you go to be alone."

She nods softly. "Yeah, I guess."

I allow a chuckle. "Man, I just go hide in a sewer tunnel. But this…this is nice." I pause. "Can't say the same for the neighborhood, though."

She laughs. "I don't think I've ever seen you so scared."

My face scrunches up. "I wasn't scared! I was just being…cautious, that's all. Besides, I think I saw a body in one of the gutters…"

"Wouldn't be the first."

The thought makes me cringe. Not just because this whole area's basically a hideout for the lowlifes and scum I deal with so often, but because Karai comes here by herself. Not that I don't think she's capable of protecting herself, but still…it bothers me.

"So…no one knows about this place?" I ask tentatively. "Not even your father?"

"_Especially_ not my father," she bites, her hands curling into fists. She turns to me, that familiar hardness in her eyes. "And you better not tell anyone."

I raise my hands innocently. "I won't—I promise."

Her stare bores into mine, like she's testing my words, as if she's still fighting to trust me, even now, after revealing something so private.

"Good," she mutters, and turns away.

I move slowly towards the bookcase, briefly glancing at her to see if I'm allowed to look around. She keeps her face from me, so I assume she doesn't care. I stand in front of the piece of furniture and run my gaze over all the objects, but the katana resting on a gleaming stand snatches my attention.

"Wait," I start, getting closer. "Is that the sword of Miyamoto Musashi? The one you wanted me to steal with you?" I carefully pick up the weapon and unsheathe it, and I'm immediately stunned by its brilliance. It gleams and reflects my face in perfect clarity as I stare into it. Curved, sharp, and fine enough to split a single hair… One of the greatest swords made by the greatest swordsman. The blade catches the image of Karai smiling behind me.

"I told you I'd get that sword with or without your help," she quips. "Isn't it beautiful?"

I hesitate, torn. Obviously, I knew she would steal it no matter what I said, but I had wanted to believe I had convinced her otherwise… But I guess I can't be surprised. She does what she wants. It's all she knows.

"So it went from sitting on some lazy rich guy's shelf to yours," I say lowly. I can tell from the quick flash in her eyes that the remark hits her, but she hides her reaction from the rest of her body and shrugs carelessly.

"I've used it a number of times."

I arch a brow. "I doubt that."

Her eyes narrow and she crosses her arms defiantly. I conceal a knowing grin and slip the blade back into its sheath and place it on the stand when I notice something. I reach for the small picture frame and stare down at the torn picture of a beautiful, young woman.

"What's this?" I ask. Her hesitation is permeable, and she rubs her arm and looks at the ground.

"…My mother," she whispers. My eyes widen a little, and I glance from her to the photograph, comparing the features. The resemblance is definitely there, though beneath all Karai's face paint, it's hard to tell.

I study the woman's face. "Where is she?"

Her anger ignites instantly and I realize I've stepped out of my bounds.

"She's dead," Karai snaps. "Now put that back—I never said you could touch anything and—"

"Hey, hey," I interrupt, trying to extinguish the flames as I gently place the frame back on the shelf. "I'm sorry—I didn't mean anything by it…I was just curious." Her eyes are still blazing, but she stares at me for a moment and it begins to fade away.

"I'm sorry," I say again, softer. But she knows this time I'm not just apologizing for touching her keepsake. Her shoulders slump and she looks down at her hands.

"How long have you been hiding out here?" I ask, eager to change the subject.

She shrugs half-heartedly. "A few years. I found it awhile back tracking some punks who tried to steal from my father. It was abandoned, and no one seemed to notice it. So I made it mine."

I nod and let my eyes sweep the room once more. "And why exactly am I here again?"

"I'm not sure." She falters in her response and averts her eyes to the ground. "I mean, you trusted me…so I thought I'd return the favor."

I watch her as the heat rushes up my face. She trusts me. She trusts me with something so personal, she's never shown a soul. But she's shown me. She let me in.

The realization is dizzying and I fight to hold my composure.

She let me in. This crazy, impossible woman who hides behind a thousand masks and a million walls has just given me a foothold into her life. A solid, tangible piece of her that no one else has or ever will see—something real, something _human_.

Karai let me in.

~T~

{Karai}

He's standing there staring at me with an idiotic look on his face, like he's in some other world.

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to smack you," I threaten. He shakes his head and smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry, sorry. I just, um… I didn't expect that."

"Expect what?" I ask with an edge to my voice.

He stumbles over his words in a way that's quite amusing. "For you to trust me, of all people." He laughs in a sort of sad way and shifts his weight uncomfortably. "And I'm not even human."

I see it in his eyes, then. A deep, aching sadness, so lonely, so insecure. So out of place. And the words come out before I can even stop them.

"You're the only human I know, Leonardo."

His gaze snaps up to lock onto mine, and we stand there, staring at one another. Blue eyes, pure and true and whole and bright, hold brown eyes of pain and fear and lies and filth. The good and the wicked, the loyal and the liar. The truth of what I've just said shocks me, and the air is so thick it sticks to my skin.

I've known it since I met him. I've known it since he denied my offer to steal, since he looked me in the eyes and said I wasn't as bad as I pretended to be, since he took my hand and told me I didn't have to be this way. He never slips up and never gives in to the dark, flawed nature of creation. In this world of cruelty and selfishness, he stands alone, fighting, burning, shining. And here I am, a liar, a cheater, a murderer—conformed and twisted under the weight of the world. My hands are stained as red as could be, and yet, he stands right beside me, refusing to budge no matter what I throw at him. He's more human than I could ever be.

I see then that I've emotionally exposed myself to one of my greatest enemies, and the color washes from my skin in a slow, flushed sense of heat. I swallow and break from the trance.

"It's getting late—or early—whatever. You should get back to your family." I go to turn away from him, to run for cover and hide myself, but his voice stops me.

"Karai."

That's all he says. Just my name. But beneath the single word lies a plethora of emotions and questions and thoughts. I don't know what they are, and I don't think I could bear it if I did. I only know that I have lost my defense against him completely. The person I've built myself up to be and the image I have donned has been stripped from me, and once again, I don't know who I am. But now, he does.

And I've never been so terrified.

~T~

{Leo}

I leave. I don't want to—in fact, I've never been so against something in my entire life—but I do. On numb legs I turn away from her and walk back up the narrow staircase alone. I leave the alleyway behind me and somehow find my way out of the neighborhood. My brain feels like mush and nothing makes any sense. I find the nearest entry into the sewers and wander aimlessly for several eternities, lost and not even concerned.

The whole night plays over and over in my head like a broken record. Her words, her voice, her eyes. Everything I thought I knew about Karai has been washed away in mere seconds, and I've never felt so blissfully confused. I knew there was something beneath all that steel and armor…I just didn't think it'd be so real. And I never thought she would let me see it.

But this only complicates things more. Once again, she's drawn me in; so impossibly close and yet I still can't reach her. This game has become maddening.

My mind is cluttered and cloudy and useless. I know I have to fix this before I return home, but I don't have a lot of time, and I still have no idea what to think or feel or do. Well, obviously, I can't _do_ anything. This is, and always has been, up to her. I just hope she doesn't hide from me now that she's exposed herself.

And as my mind finally drifts back to the thoughts of home, I hope my brothers haven't noticed my absence.

~T~

{Donnie}

The mass of calculations is strewn across the papers and blackboard before me. I've gone over it time and time again, hoping that my tired state hasn't slowed my mind or clouded my perception. I can't say for sure until I've gotten some sleep…but I think I know how to do it. And if it works… Well, I can't even think about that yet.

I sigh in exhaustion and slump into my chair. Raph's snoring faintly from on the couch he pushed in here, and Mikey's still sleeping peacefully. I was worried when I heard Raph wake up screaming, but I'm glad he came in here. As tough and hard as he acts, he really hates being alone. It's nice to see that side every once in a while.

I smile warmly at the sight of the both of them, but it quickly fades as deeper thoughts consume my mind. If I can get this to actually work, if I can turn Leo and me into humans…what will my brothers think? What will _Splinter_ think? I blink at the notion, because I have no idea. I didn't realize how incredibly selfish this whole thing was until now. Are Leo and I really so desperate to turn away from everything we've known to chase something that we may never be able to have? What would we do—leave our families behind to pursue a pointless venture? And what if our efforts weren't in vain, and we actually won the hearts of those we chased? Would we become a part of the surface and leave our past life behind, or would the others want to follow, and we'd all become human and leave?

My brain starts to hurt; I'm getting a headache. I exhale heavily and bury my face in my hands. This could be too much—no, it definitely _is_ too much. But still, I can't let it go. I have to try. I have to! I'll just recreate the mutagen that changed us in the first place so that we could go back if we needed. I'm not sure if that'd actually work, but hey, it'd be worth a shot. I know Leo wouldn't commit unless he knew we could go back. He needs a plan A and B and C, along with the rest of the alphabet, to ever even feel secure. As desperate as he is, he'll be the hardest to convince, and I'm sure as heck not doing this alone.

I sigh again and lean back into the chair, deciding I better let the sleep come over me before my thoughts get any crazier. It's slow, but it comes warm and comforting, and I close my eyes and fall beneath the blanket of slumber.

I can figure this all out tomorrow. After all, tomorrow's always better than today.


	7. Chapter 7: Chances, Complications

**Author's Note:** Hooray for cliffhangers! And for the plot actually showing up! How unexpected, right? Goodness, I'm sorry it's taken SEVEN CHAPTERS for the plot to get started...but everyone seems to be enjoying it anyway, so that's good. I hope you all like this chapter! And thanks to all of you who have been reviewing! 3 3 You guys are awesome!

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own any of this mad genius-ness and still upset over it.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Seven: Chances, Complications, and Matters of the Heart:<span>**

{Raph}

The lair is so quiet, it's making my stomach hurt. I can't remember the last morning I spent sitting alone on the couch, or the last morning I made breakfast in an empty kitchen. There was no Mikey up to make his freakish breakfast combinations, no Leo to yell at him for making a mess, and no Donnie to tell him that whatever he picked to eat really wasn't natural.

I sigh and stare down at my soggy cereal with no appetite, and my thoughts wander into the mush until the sound of Leo's door opening catches my attention.

I glance over the back of the couch to see him trudging past the living room towards the kitchen, rubbing his tired eyes and yawning heavily.

"And where were you all night?" I ask with an edge to my voice. He doesn't bother to look at me.

"Out," he answers simply.

I scoff. "Obviously."

We don't say anything else. I sit on the couch and listen to the sound of him rummaging through the dishes and cabinets as I stare at the blank TV screen. I thought about turning it on a few times, but I know all Mikey's favorite cartoons are going to be playing, and the lair will feel fifty times more empty if I start watching them and the little guy isn't here to bounce up and down on the couch and knock over my cereal in his excitement.

I sigh and lean my face on the back of my hand. I gotta stop thinking like this…

Leo steps into the living room with his usual weird breakfast of rice and toast, and I swallow my usual rude commentary about how gross that is. He sits down on the opposite end of the couch, and I can tell from the dazed and cloudy look in his eyes that something happened.

"So what's up with you?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Just tired…" He gives a small, sad sort of laugh. "I was hoping to wake up this morning and realize that the past two days were just some stupid dream." He sighs and mixes his rice around idly. "Guess that didn't work."

I look down at my hands as the cold recollections of the nightmare washes back over me.

"Yeah," I whisper. "Didn't work for me, either."

Silence drifts over the living room and we both sit there and stare numbly at our food. I doubt he's any hungrier than I am.

"Oh, hey," I start. "Donnie said he had to talk to you about something."

He looks up at me curiously. "About what?"

I shrug and make a face. "How am I supposed to know? But he was up _all night_ making a bunch of noise and scribbling all over his lab. Whatever the brainiac's planning, I want no part in it."

Leo arches a brow. "Wait, why were you in the lab all night?"

Man, I wish he wasn't so good at connecting the dots. "I-I was just there to make sure Mikey was okay, you know?"

A slow, knowing smile spreads over his face and he stares at me, amused.

"What?" I ask, irritated.

He smirks and pushes off the couch. "You just didn't want to sleep by yourself, huh?"

"Shut up," I snap. "You weren't even here."

He leaves his food on the table and walks past me, giving me a noogie on the way. I flinch away from him, baring my teeth and swatting his hand away. He laughs and pulls back.

"I'm just messing with you. Geez," he says, stopping outside of the lab. "Besides," he makes a demeaning face and ties it all up with a smug grin, "It's cute."

Heat rushes up my face and my jaw clenches. "Oh, you did _not_ just say that."

His brow knits and he looks up, feigning introspection. "Um…I think I just did."

I sit up and my body tenses defensively, my hands balling into fists at my sides. "Do I need to beat you to a pulp again?"

But his smile only widens and he shrugs.

"I'd expect nothing less from you, _Raphie_." And with that, he slips out from the room and into the lab, shutting the door behind him and leaving me with the lasting image of his stupid grin. I snarl after him and direct my anger to the couch cushion, punching it as hard as I can.

"Oh, I'm gonna pound your face in during training."

~T~

{Donnie}

I'm torn from my intellectual trance at the sound of the door opening. I don't even have to look to know that it's Leo, finally waking up after a long night out doing things he probably shouldn't be doing.

"'Morning, Donnie," he calls as he walks over to my desk. "Raph said you wanted to see me?"

I finish glancing over an equation before acknowledging him. "Yeah."

His eyes run across the scattered papers and schematics. "Is it about Mikey?"

"No, he's fine. Vitals are stable, body temperature's normal, no signs of infection. I did have to give him a tetanus shot for the wound on his shoulder. That blade was rusty; better safe than sorry."

He nods, looking back at our little brother, still sleeping soundly beneath the heat lamp.

"But I could use some help changing the bandages," I offer. I set down my pen and wash off my hands, gesturing for him to do the same. The sound of running water fills the lab and I snatch the rolls of gauze from the shelf.

"Just hold him steady, like last time," I instruct.

"Sure thing." I start unrolling the bandages and Leo lifts Mikey's hand and frowns. "Why is he wet?"

"To keep him hydrated. Now, keep the fingers separated. The skin's still fragile—we can't risk anything sticking."

He does as I say and we both fall silent as I carefully unravel the old dressings. Leo's face scrunches up and he averts his eyes at the sight of the burned flesh.

"Is it supposed to smell like that?" he asks, blocking his nasal passages with his soft palate.

"I told you it'd get worse before it got better," I mumble. "We're lucky it isn't as bad as it could've been." I toss the dirty bandages in the waste bin and grab the small vile from beneath the counter.

"What's that?" Leo inquires.

I chew on my lip and swirl the glowing green mixture around in the glass bottle. "Something I've been testing."

His eyes narrow and he looks down at Mikey defensively. "What is it?"

"Well, mutagen, essentially. But I've conducted several experiments on it and cell growth in the past few weeks to see if its properties could attribute to stimulating cell turnover and the natural healing processes within our bodies. I've combined it with a few vitamins and minerals found to aid in epidermal recovery and some basic antibiotics to prevent infection."

He blinks at me, and I sigh.

"It's medicine, Leo."

"Oh. Got it." He watches as I swirl it around a few more times and drip the solution onto an antiseptic pad. "And it'll make his burns heal faster?"

"That's the plan. It worked under the microscope, at least. In any case, I've kept the mutagen levels low with this batch, seeing as how it's relatively unpredictable. We'll have to watch it, and if it works, we can steadily increase the percentage of mutagen to at most twenty percent. I've found anything above that to be unstable."

He nods. "How'd you come up with that?"

I shrug and begin to dab the burns on Mikey's hand with the solution. "Well, I noticed how remarkable it was that mutagen could both combine and dramatically shift something's biological state. Whatever's in it has the capability to merge two separate beings into one with little to no complication. For the body to adjust to something so drastic in such little time is quite amazing, so I figured there might be other biological uses for it."

Leo shakes his head and smiles. "I don't know what we'd do without you, bro."

I grin at the compliment. "Nothing good, I can tell you that."

He laughs. "Well, I hope it works. I'm going to go insane if Mikey's out much longer." He glances back at the door and a sad look comes over him. "What happened with Raph last night?"

I frown at the recollection. "I'm not sure… I heard him scream a few hours after he went to bed; I assumed he had a nightmare, because he came walking in and asked if he could sleep here instead. Of course, I let him, but I was up all night, so I doubt he got much sleep."

Leo's eyes darken and he sighs. "Well…at least he came to one of us. It's nice to see that he isn't as hard as he pretends to be."

I nod and continue to sponge down the burns with the solution as the unspoken swirls through my mind.

"…Where were you last night?" I ask tentatively.

He doesn't say anything, but that's an answer all on its own.

"Leo," I start gently. "I know you have feelings for her, and trust me, I get it. But it just seems like you spend so much time with her and I'm not sure if you should—"

"She's different," he whispers. "It's all she knows, Donnie—just like this is all we know. She's the same as me."

I stop what I'm doing and stare at him. He won't meet my gaze, but he knows I'm looking.

"I really hope you don't think that," I mutter. His eyes harden.

"Why is everyone so against her? You guys don't even _know_ her!"

"What, and you do?" I question. "She's lied to you before, Leo—what makes you think all this isn't just some ploy to get us all killed?"

"Because she trusts me," he answers, like he couldn't be more sure of anything in his life. "And I trust her, too."

My mouth hangs open in silent response, but I hold back all my words. I can see it on his face; nothing will convince him otherwise. I let out a breath and get back to distributing the medicine along Mikey's burns.

"I hope you're right, Leo," I whisper. "For your sake. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I won't," he mutters. He looks up at me and gives a warm smile. "Don't worry."

I return it with a sad one of my own and get back to work. "Yeah…sure."

We say nothing else the entire time. A good two hours pass of unwrapping bandages, carefully applying the medicine, letting the wounds dry, and rewrapping. It's painstaking and slow and the faint tension between Leo and I does nothing to help, but we finally get it all done, and both of our shoulders slump in relief.

"So," he says after a moment, leaning against the counter. "What did you want? Unless you just needed me to help with the dressings."

I mule it over, but I must take a second too long, because he gets that knowing look on his face.

"What is it, Donnie?" he presses.

Knowing that he was out with Karai all night doesn't make the decision any easier. I thought I knew what would be best, but seeing how committed he is to being as close to her as he can, I'm no longer sure I should even include him. But I'm not doing this alone, and no one else will volunteer.

"I, um…" I sigh, defeated under his sharp gaze. "I figured out a way for us to change. I-I mean, it's not a completely sound notion, but it's better than a theory."

He stares at me. "So it is possible?"

I nod slowly, uncertainly. "It could take a while to refine the mutagen, and we'd need to find more samples, but yeah…it's possible."

He lets out a deep breath and rubs his forehead. "How long?"

I pause. "A month. Maybe more."

The door swings open and both of us jump.

"What're you two doing?" Raph asks irritably as he storms into the lab. "You've been in here for hours!"

I look at Leo, and he looks back at me, and we both nod. Raph doesn't need to know. No one needs to know.

"Just cleaning Mikey's wounds, Raph," I answer nonchalantly.

He glares at the two of us, his green eyes sharp and piercing and full of suspicion. "Why did you need to see Leo?"

I shrug. "To help with the bandaging. I can't do it by myself."

He almost looks hurt. "I could've helped. I was right outside—Leo wasn't even home till a few hours ago—"

"Well, yeah," I say, trying to hold my composure. "But I assumed you were tired. It's not that big of a deal, Raph."

But I can see it in his eyes: it is a big deal. He wants to be able to help and he doesn't believe that that's the only reason I called to see Leo. His narrowed gaze flickers between our older brother and I and he scowls.

"Whatever. Master Splinter wants us all in the dojo for training, so hurry up and finish whatever you guys were doing and get your shells out there."

And with that, he turns and leaves, slamming the door for good measure. I tilt my head back and sigh.

"He's so dramatic."

Leo shrugs. "He's just upset… But we're gonna have to watch these conversations. If Raph finds out what we're trying to do, we're going to have a lot more to worry about."

I nod and my shoulders slump. "Yeah, but he's going to find out eventually. I mean, I don't think we can go prancing around the lair as humans without someone noticing."

Leo stifles a laugh. "_Prancing_? So you're telling me the first thing you're gonna do as a human is _prance_?"

I grin and stand straighter, slapping a solemn expression onto my face. "Why yes, Leo—I certainly can't think of anything better to do with my time."

He's really trying hard not to laugh now. "And you expect me to join you, I suppose."

I nod hastily. "We can go skipping through the daisy patch, holding hands and singing of our newfound freedom—"

"Donnie!" he exclaims, breaking into laughter. "Dude, we've got training and I'm not going to be able to focus!"

I chuckle and extend my hand. "Well come on then, Leo! We can practice on our way to the dojo!"

He swats my arm away and shakes his head as he tries to contain his amusement. "Seriously, man, if Splinter reads my mind during meditation and sees that I'm thinking about you and me holding hands and skipping through daisy patches as humans, you're gonna get it."

I make a confused face. "Well what else are you supposed to think about during meditation?"

"Come on, you dolt," he says, giggling. "The world's gonna end if we're later than Raph to training."

I smile with a laugh and follow him out of the lab, glancing back once more at Mikey before dimming the lights and shutting the door behind us.

~T~

{Karai}

"Hi-yah!"

My sword comes crashing down on the wooden post and sends a thud that vibrates through my bones. I rip it from the wood, splintering the column, and stab it through another and another, hitting each and every pole with fury and rage and deadly accuracy.

_Forget last night._

My brain doesn't register the pain of exerting so much effort; I keep going, lashing out with a cry surging up my raw throat.

_It meant nothing._

Again, the blade sticks, and again, the shockwave tears through my body. I wrench the sword out and flip backwards, twirling the blade across my hand and charging the dummy hanging from the rafters. My vision is blackened by my emotions, and I lose myself. I slash and slice until chunks of leather are torn from its armor, until the sweat drenches my body and my blood roars in my ears.

_Forget about him._

I scream and hack away, burying my weapon into the swinging dummy's neck so deep, I can't pull it out.

_Just forget all of it._

I gasp for breath and tug uselessly, angrily, but my hands slip from the hilt and I fall back with a grunt. Panting, sweating, aching from head to toe, I sit there and tremble under the confusion and rage and exhaustion.

It takes a moment to realize something hot and wet is streaming down my face. I sniff and wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand, smearing my face paint with sweat and tears and grime. My armor sticks to me, sickly and tight, and I feel like I'm burning up beneath the weight on my chest.

I'm an idiot. Such an idiot. I shouldn't have faltered before him, shouldn't have given in—I should've just left when I had the chance! I opened up to him and that was the stupidest thing I've ever done. He saw me…and now he's just going to look at me and see that stupid, broken little girl. Weak, weak, weak!

I scream in frustration and punch the floor mat. Again and again and again, until my knuckles bruise and the skin breaks and the blood seeps out in little red beads that smear across my hands.

Why am I so stupid? How could I have fallen for that?!

I grit my teeth and bite down another cry. Father might hear me, and I can't ever let him know. If he sees me like this, he'll break me. He's already been snapping at my heels for not killing Leo and his brothers when I had the chance. I can't lie much longer. He's watching my every move and if he sees me with Leo, I'm dead. Dead, dead, dead.

I clench my fists until my nails dig into my palms and hang my head low, letting the drops of sweat trail down my face and drip from my chin.

I screwed up last night showing Leo—I'm already dead.

Because now he knows that everything he's been saying all along is true.

I'm not what I pretend to be.

No…I'm so much worse.

~T~

{Leo}

"How's this for cute?" Raph sneers, slamming my head into the ground. My vision flickers and the room spins. I groan, dizzy and aching and totally regretting my choice of words this morning.

My shoulder feels like it's been yanked out from its socket and I've already got welts all across my body where he's driven the hilt of his sais into me. Master Splinter usually says something when Raph gets like this during training, but today, he just stands there and observes the fallout between his sons.

I force a laugh between clenched teeth. "As sensitive as ever, huh Raph?"

He snarls at that and punches my deltoid with his knuckles, bruising the muscle and deep tissues. I hiss and jerk out from underneath him, clocking him in the jaw with the palm of my hand. I twist in the air and plant a nasty kick into the center of his plastron and send him tumbling backwards. He hits the ground with a loud thud, but he's up on his feet in seconds, seething. His eyes flash and he twirls his weapons through his fingers.

I bite down the pain and focus, holding my katanas steady as I circle my vengeful brother. He watches me with those intense green eyes of his, smirking as his gaze flickers between me and Sensei, who has done nothing to stop Raph's rather vicious attacks. I don't know if this is my continued punishment for what happened with Mikey or if Splinter just thinks I need to get pushed around, but whatever it is, I'm getting really tired of it and—

I blink at the sudden conclusion. Boy, am I stupid.

I stop where I am and take a deep breath, closing my eyes and concentrating. Control. That's what this is about. I'm letting my brother push me around again, and Sensei expects me to take control and stop it.

My eyes snap open and my features twist into a devious grin; a gesture that actually makes Raph pause for a second in hesitation. But that moment of imbalance is all I need, and I charge my brother with a war cry. Our bodies collide, slamming into the ground, and our limbs become a flurry of movement as we try to best one another. He stabs upwards with his weapons, but I block it, slicing my katana across his blades and flinging the pronged daggers out of his grip. They spin through the air and lodge themselves in the tree to our left, and Raph snarls at me. It's a notable quality that he becomes the most dangerous when backed into a corner-though I don't know whether it's a good thing or a compromising one. Raph doesn't know what defeat is—he won't allow himself to back down or give in until someone else makes him. And even then, he won't admit that he's lost.

He punches at my already-injured shoulder, and a sharp sting runs down my body. I clench my muscles against it and snatch his forearm before he can hit me again. I twist it back while simultaneously sliding my foot under his leg, and with a well-timed jerk, I jump up and flip his entire body over. He growls, pinned on his stomach, and tries to wriggle out of my grip, but we both know this hold and how it's almost impossible to break.

Almost.

He moves so fast, I don't catch it, and he arches his back enough to slip his knee between the both of us and connect it with my jaw. I bite my tongue and yelp as the taste of blood rushing over my senses. He wrenches free from the hold and spins on his head, kicking me in the throat and knocking me back. I stumble, choking on the sudden pain, and he takes that moment to tackle me to the floor and raise a hidden knife over my head-

"Yame!" Sensei shouts. Raph's arm freezes an inch above my face. The small blade twinkles in the faint rays of sunlight that stream through the grate above the tree and I lay still, holding my breath in anticipation.

"Raphael, release your brother."

Raph hesitates, glaring daggers at me with that cruel, thin smile of his. He kicks me in the side as he gets up, leaving me a sore, flustered mess. I groan and pull myself to my knees before Sensei, scowling quickly at Raph as he kneels beside me with a smug look on his face.

"Is something going on between you two?" Sensei asks sharply, clearly unamused by our antics during training.

"No," we both answer. I refrain from allowing my bewilderment reach my expression. I was sure Raph was going to say something about me being out all night—anything to get back at me for this morning and, well, everything else. Besides, he seems angrier than he should for a simple joke. This has to go deeper than that.

But I don't say anything more, and neither does he. Sensei's gaze bears down on us for another moment before he sighs and straightens himself.

"You may go, then." He turns from us and stops. "Donatello?"

We look back to see our brother slumped against the wall, sleeping soundly and drooling. Sensei shakes his head and exhales heavily.

"Oh!" Raph shouts eagerly. "Can I wake him up?"

I snap. "Absolutely not—" But Raph claps a hand over my face and shouts from the top of his lungs.

"HEY DONNIE, APRIL'S HERE!"

Donnie jolts awake and scrambles to his feet.

"April! April, hey! Hi!" He poses coolly against the wall, like he wasn't just snoring and drooling in his sleep. And it takes him a hilariously long moment to figure out that she's not here.

Raph's cracking up beside me, and I'm having trouble hiding my grin. Donnie glares at the both of us and his shoulders slump.

"Not cool, guys."

"Aha, b-but it was s-so f-funny!" Raph laughs, losing his breath. "Y-you always fall for that!"

Donnie's face has melted into a look of irritation and embarrassment, and he sighs. "Sorry, Master Splinter. I had a long night…"

"That does not excuse your lack of participation during training, my son," Splinter says firmly. "This has happened far too many times—you must make rest a priority. A ninja cannot be fully alert and aware of his surroundings so long as exhaustion clouds his mind."

Donnie slumps further and nods obediently. "Hai, Sensei."

"Now go and get some sleep, Donatello. I understand our current situation has not made rest easy for you," he says, glancing at me. My heart sinks and I avert my eyes. "But I will not be so forgiving next time."

"Hai, Sensei."

And with that, Master Splinter leaves, vanishing into his room and leaving the three of us with our heads bowed in the dojo.

"It was Raph's idea," I say quietly. Donnie shoots me a look.

"You were laughing."

I rub the back of my neck and laugh nervously. "Well, I mean…it was pretty funny."

Raph sneers. "Chill out, Genius. We're just having some fun."

He scowls at the both of us. "'Fun' at the expense of someone else's emotional state isn't _fun_, Raph. It's just mean."

"Well, yeah," he says simply. "That's what makes it the best kind of fun."

Donnie groans and stomps out of the room. "Whatever. I'll be in the kitchen."

Raph snickers to himself as Donnie leaves, and I shake my head, feeling bad.

"I don't know, Raph," I start. "Maybe you should take it down a notch. You know how he feels about April."

Raph stares at me, incredulous. "Oh, come on! So I can't have any fun now, just because all of you have _feelings_?"

I shrug. "No, but he's stressed out right now—"

"We're _all_ stressed out," he growls. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood; it's not my fault he can't handle it."

"You mean like how you 'handle' everything?" I retort. "I made a joke this morning and you pounded my face into the floor!"

He scoffs, crossing his arms. "I would've done that anyway."

I glare at him and exhale, throwing my arms in the air in exasperation. "You know what, whatever. It doesn't matter. Sensei doesn't need to catch us fighting and I'm way too tired for this." I pick my katanas up from the floor, sheathe them, and make my way out of the dojo with Raph at my heels.

"Where're you going?" he asks nosily.

"To bed," I grumble. "I think you knocked my shell loose."

He laughs. "Oh, good. I was worried for a second that I didn't do the job right."

I stop and make a face at him before continuing down the hallway. I almost expect him to badger me all the way to my room, but when I glance behind me, I see him heading for the lab—probably to go see Mikey. I let out a breath and shut my bedroom door and collapse onto my bed. I throw my pillow over my face and groan. I'm going to be sore as heck when I wake up.

I start to doze off, lost in the exhaustion of my body and mind and the images of Karai flashing behind my eyes, when a loud clang jerks me from my bed. The sound of the lab doors being shoved open echo throughout the lair.

"Guys!" Raph yells. "Donnie, Leo!"

He slams through my door, panting, his eyes wide. "Leo, it's Mikey!"

"What?" I jump off the mattress, the worst flooding through my mind. "What's wrong?"

"He's waking up!"


	8. Chapter 8: Little Brother

**Author's Note:** I'm SO SORRY I haven't updated in forever! School and work and AH. But anyway, here's a nice long chapter for everyone! And *gasp* is that a hint of plot/subplot I see in there? Whoa, never thought that'd show up! But seriously, thanks for being so patient with this story... Like I said, I have a bad habit of making things up as I go. Plus I'm really bad at writing short stories. Everything I do has to be novel-sized, lol. But trust me, once the whole transformation thing takes place (yes, we will get there eventually), the pace will pick up A LOT. I at least have that planned out...sort of.

Anywho! I hope all of you enjoy this chapter and find it to your liking! Thanks to all of you who have followed/favorited/reviewed-it means so much to me!

**Disclaimer:** In my two weeks of absence, I have still not achieved ownership of TMNT or Nickelodeon. Seriously, what have I been doing with my time?

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Eight: Little Brother<span>**

{Raph}

"Guys! Donnie, Leo!"

I barge into Leo's room, ramming the door with my shoulder and ignoring the dull ache that moves through my upper torso. The words push up my throat before I even have the breath to send them.

"Leo, it's Mikey!" I shout. He sits up and scrambles off the bed with wide eyes full of fear and anticipation.

"What?" he urges. That familiar 'older brother/leader/responsible for everything' tone takes hold of his voice. "What's wrong?"

"He's waking up!" I almost smack my face into the door frame as I whirl around and run back into the hall. I leap over the living room couch and make my way for the kitchen. "Donnie! Come on!"

He pokes his head out, confused. "What're you—"

"He's waking up!" I yell, ecstatic. "Mikey's waking up!"

Donnie jumps after me, and all three of us run to the lab. My heart is pounding right out of my chest and I feel so full I want to cry.

I push through the door and stumble to the table, where my little brother is blinking and struggling to sit up.

"Whoa, whoa!" Donnie calls, making his way over. "Don't move there, bro—your injuries are still fragile!"

Mikey groans and continues to blink rapidly as he comes to. Donnie reaches his side and gently pushes Mikey back down, his auburn eyes frantically examining the bandaged wounds.

"Dudes," Mikey says, hoarse. "I had the weirdest dream about sea zombies." He pauses and his brow wrinkles in a dazed attempt at remembrance. "They were on fire for some reason."

I laugh and shove Donnie aside to hug Mikey as hard as I can. His yelp is muffled as I pull him to my chest, and Donnie grabs my shoulder.

"Raph, be careful! He's still healing—"

"I'm so glad you're okay!" I blurt, my eyes stinging. I clamp them shut to block off the tears and continue to hold my little brother. "I thought we lost you, Mikey!"

It all comes rushing back, so I hug him tighter, forcing the memories down with reality. He's alive, he's alive, and he's awake and we're all okay now—

"Mmphhh!" He starts to struggle and I realize he probably can't breathe. I let go and jump back.

"Sorry! Sorry, I didn't—I was just—I mean—"

"We missed you, bro," Leo says warmly, slinging an arm over my shoulder. "You had us scared to death."

Mikey looks up at us and smiles, but he looks confused. "What for?"

"You were attacked," Donnie explains. "It was some sort of robot. I suspect the Foot Clan, given the design and the insignia on the back of the neck. But you've been cut and burned pretty bad, so try not to move —"

"That was _real_?!" Mikey exclaims with wide eyes. "Dude! I thought that thing was gonna kill me and eat my soul!"

Donnie stops, stumped, and Leo smacks his palm to his face and grumbles.

"For the fiftieth time, Mikey, dementors aren't real."

"And that's physically impossible," Donnie comments. "The relative concept of the soul is rather debatable, but taking it into consideration, the physical and spiritual states are separate—"

I shove Donnie aside and cut him off. "Can it, Don, before you put him back to sleep."

Donnie shoots me a look, but Leo nudges him aside before he can say anything else.

"Do you remember anything, Mikey?" he asks. "Like why you were out at the docks?"

Mikey frowns and thinks it over, but the seconds tick by and his expression becomes more confused and frustrated.

"No…I mean, yeah, but—I didn't mean to go out that far. I was just mad…" He hesitates, brow knit and eyes clenched shut as he tries to pull back the memories. "I think I was in a warehouse when I found the dement—"

"—Robot," Donnie corrects.

Mikey gives him his infamous 'yeah-whatever' look at the interruption and continues.

"—and I dropped my T-phone. I don't really remember much besides the fire and the water…" He sighs, looking disappointed in himself. I put my hand on his head and give him a reassuring smile.

"Hey, it's alright, bro," I say. "You've been through a lot. We're all just glad you're okay."

Mikey grins and tries to sit up again, but Donnie stops him.

"You need to lie still there, Mikey," he instructs. And then, pausing, he rubs his chin. "Wait…hang on. Let me check something…"

He reaches out and starts to unwrap Mikey's bandaged hand, and I look away, remembering the burnt flesh. I don't need to see any of that ever again.

But Donnie gasps. "Leo—Leo, look!" My older brother pushes me aside and I scowl at him, but the expression quickly fades as Leo, too, inhales sharply. Gross burnt skin or not, I can't stand not knowing, so I shove myself between the two dorks and stare down at Mikey's exposed wound. My eyes widen.

"It…it looks so much better," Leo breathes.

"Better?" I scoff. "It doesn't even look like he was burned in the first place!" I turn to Donnie and jab my finger at him. "What'd you do, Brainiac?"

Donnie still looks lost for words. He stumbles over his next sentence, dumb-founded. "I-I knew it'd work, but not this well…and certainly not this fast! This is just incredible!"

We all stand there gawking and Mikey shifts awkwardly. "Um, guys? Could you, like, stop touching me now?"

"Mikey, you don't understand," Donnie says rapidly as he reaches for Mikey's other hand. "You were _hurt._ We thought you were going to die. I just applied the solution a few hours ago, and entire new layers of skin have already grown! The redness, the blisters—all of it's gone!"

"That's a good thing, right?" Mikey asks nervously.

"It's an amazing thing," Leo blurts.

"Sweet!" Mikey chirps, grinning non-existent ear to non-existent ear. "So…does that mean I can move now?"

"No!" Donnie snaps. Mikey flinches back and resumes his still position on the table. "Don't move, don't touch the bandages, and don't scratch. Understand?"

Mikey nods, but Donnie's eyes narrow.

"I mean it, Mikey. The medicine may have worked better than I anticipated, but this is still fresh skin. It's delicate and impressionable and any sort of movement or irritation could rip it up. So keep still. _And don't scratch._"

Mikey whines. "But what if it itches real bad?"

"Then you'll just have to deal with it."

"But—"

"Listen to him, Mikey" I growl. "Do as he says, and you'll get better."

His big blue eyes waver and he pouts. "Fine. But what the heck am I supposed to do while I wait to get better? You guys can't seriously expect me to just lie here and do nothing!"

We all glance at one another. "Uh, yeah," I mutter. "That's _exactly_ what we expect you to do."

"Aw!" he groans. "I'm gonna die of boredom, dudes!"

"Better than infection," Donnie asserts. "Now, lie still. Don't move. Stay. There."

Mikey leans his head back against the table and pouts.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it."

"Good. I'm going to go pull another sample of the solution from the freezer. I'll be right back."

He heads out the door and leaves us three in the lab. Mikey sighs heavily and tries to cross his arms, but I stop him.

"Uh-uh," I point. "No moving."

His face scrunches in childlike frustration. "This is stupid!"

"Well, you shouldn't have run off on your own," Leo scolds.

"Yeah," I add. "And you shouldn't have gotten into a fight with a robot."

"Or dropped your phone—"

"Or set yourself on fire—"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Mikey shouts, his eyes narrowing. "Geez! Cut a guy some slack, will you? It's not like I _meant_ for any of that to happen."

"Well, yeah," I shrug. "But you should've expected it. I mean, what else happens when you go off on your own?"

He scowls. "So I almost die, and this is how I'm greeted when I finally wake up? How nice."

I smile and lean against the table. "We were gonna treat you better. You know, chocolates, balloons, those stupid little stuffed animals and flowers and all that—but as it turns out, Donnie's practically healed you…so I guess there's no need for any of it."

"What?" His baby blue eyes waver in disbelief. "I don't get any of it?"

I shake my head and make an exaggeratedly sad face. "Nope."

"But why?"

"Well, I already ate the chocolates, and Spike ate the balloon. And I think I saw Leo sleeping with the teddy bear earlier—"

"Raph!" Leo growls. "Mikey, he's just being an idiot. We didn't get you anything."

And then I smile because Mikey's face drops further. Leo realizes that what he just said sounded pretty bad, and he starts stuttering.

"I mean, we didn't have time—you know, training and stuff—plus we didn't know when you were gonna wake up and—"

Donnie comes back into the room with a vial of some glowing green goopy stuff I assume is the medicine, and he pauses at Mikey's comically sad face and Leo's flustered state.

"What happened?" he asks, but there's an inflection in his voice that hints to him really not wanting to know.

"Nothing," Leo says quickly. "So, um, are you going to apply more of the medicine or is there some sort of waiting period between doses or what?"

Donnie stands there, his gaze flickering between all three of us before he sighs and shakes off whatever questions he had. "I thought I'd try applying the solution with the higher percentage of mutagen, seeing as how that's most likely the product responsible for his remarkable recovery, but it has to thaw out first, so I can't do it for another few hours."

Mikey blinks. "Does that mean I'll be able to get up soon?"

Donnie shrugs. "I don't know, Mikey. You'll just have to be patient and wait."

Mikey's face slumps in disappointment, and I repress a smirk. It's funny how animated his expressions are compared to the stiff, mummy-wrapped state of his body.

"Dang it. I hate both of those things."

"In the meantime," Donnie carries on with a grin, "I'm sure Leo and Raph will have no problem entertaining you."

Leo and I stare at our purple-banded brother. "Excuse me?" I retort. "What makes you think I'm gonna sit in here all day?"

"Yeah, and what're you going to be so busy with?" Leo inquires, crossing his arms.

Donnie simply smiles and lifts Mikey's exposed hand to swipe it with a small, sterile cotton pad. "I have to examine these newly formed skin cells to see how the solution effects the growth of—"

"Blah, blah, science, blah!" I growl. "We get it! But what the heck are we supposed to do with him? He can't even move! You expect us to just stand here and watch him and—"

"You will do whatever is necessary to aid your brother's recovery."

Sensei's voice makes us all jump.

"Ah!" Leo yelps. He stands straight and clears his throat. "Sensei, hi!"

"I see Michelangelo has awakened," he says, ignoring Leo and walking up to the table. Mikey smiles brightly.

"Sensei!" But then he frowns. "I'd hug you, but Donnie says I'm not allowed to move."

Master Splinter chuckles in relief and puts his hand on Mikey's shoulder. "That is alright, my son. I am simply relieved to see you have awakened so soon. It seems your brother has succeeded in creating a medicine, hm?"

Donnie nods. "Yes, Sensei, and it's working much quicker than I expected! At this rate, he should be back to normal within a week or so."

Splinter smiles warmly. "Good work, my son." He turns his attention to Leo and I, and all the warmth of him is gone; I'm guessing he knows about all the fighting Leo and I have been doing recently. We both look at our feet to avoid his gaze as he instructs the both of us. "You will watch over Michelangelo and help him feel better."

I groan in protest. "But Sensei—"

"Unless you have something _better_ to do than to be there for your brother," Splinter presses. I drop the rest of my sentence and sigh.

"No, Sensei."

He straightens. "Good. Make sure he is comfortable." He gives Mikey a lasting look of affection and assurance. "I will be in my room if anyone needs me."

We all watch him leave the laboratory, and as soon as the door shuts, I let my burning gaze shoot towards Mikey. He smiles sheepishly and shrugs.

"Dude, you should see your face right now. You look so mad!" He laughs nervously and I scowl at him.

"If you weren't hurt, I'd punch you," I growl.

Leo grabs my shoulder disapprovingly. "Raph, knock it off. Sensei's right. We should stay here with Mikey and make him comfortable."

"Yeah, Raph," Mikey beams. "Entertain me!"

I grit my teeth. "Alright, fine. Whatever." I cross my arms in suppressed hostility, but the sight of his huge, stupid grin makes me soften, and I shake my head. "What'd you want to do, bro?"

"Well, since I can't move," he grumbles, passing an accusing glare towards Donnie, "I guess we'll just have to watch all one-hundred and nine episodes of Super Robo Mecha Force Five!"

Leo laughs like he'd expect nothing less from Mikey, and I smack my forehead, because for some odd reason, I _was_ expecting less from Mikey.

"Oh, good," I mutter, "'Cause I really wasn't sure what I was going to do with the next forty-five and a half hours of my life."

~T~

{Donnie}

With Leo, Raph, and Mikey holed up in the lab—I know, weird—I'm left to myself in the kitchen, analyzing some of Mikey's new skin cells beneath the microscope. It's quiet, save for Mikey's periodic squeals of excitement and Raph's occasional outbursts of how a character could possibly be that stupid. I smile to myself as I listen. As much as I enjoy these moments of peace, I know I couldn't go a single day without hearing the commotion of my family.

I turn the one of the dials on the scope, shifting the focus. It seems that the solution is working just as expected, if not better. The new cells are exactly like the old cells, which clears away the suspicions I had earlier about the possibilities of the mutagen altering Mikey's DNA. It's all going better than I planned…which is saying something for me, because half the stuff I do usually ends up exploding.

I continue to fiddle with the knobs, mainly because I'm lost in other thoughts, but partly because I like watching the cells move in and out of focus. I pause for a moment, resting my forehead against the contraption. I'd need to test the medicine on Raph and Leo, as well as myself, but if it works the way it does with Mikey for the rest of us, injuries would be far less of an issue in the future. I scoff to myself and smile. And they said collecting all those canisters of mutagen was a waste of time.

A soft knock at the doorway of the kitchen startles me. I sit up in my seat and turn to see April standing at the entrance, a faint smile on her face. One look at her and my heart instantly begins to react to her presence, and every intellectual thought I had before has now turned to mush.

"I'm not interrupting anything important, am I?" she asks. I shake my head a little too fast.

"No! No, of course not." I clear my throat. "Um, so what brings you here?"

She steps into the kitchen, her eyes searching over the microscope and the notes I've placed on the table.

"Leo told me what happened with Mikey."

I hesitate as a million thoughts shoot through my brain in a split second. Leo told her? When? Were they texting? Why didn't I think of that? I could've texted her—I _should've_ texted her! I was up all night in the lab, so busy trying to figure out how we could pull off this whole transformation thing, I didn't even think about it! Now she's going to think that I'm cutting her off from all of us or that I don't care enough to keep her updated or let her know when one of her friends is hurt or—

"I tried to get here sooner," she continues, jerking me from my mental spasm. She absent-mindedly picks up a sheet of paper and glances over the equations and scribble that probably make no sense to her. "But things have been hard…you know, with my dad."

I nod sympathetically. Mr. O' Neil hasn't been adjusting too well after his ordeal with the Kraang a while back. I haven't heard April say much about it, but we certainly don't see her as often, and there are some days where I can see it in her eyes, where she'll look stressed and tired. And I'm sure school's not helping with any of that.

"It's alright," I say. "He just woke up about an hour ago—"

_Idiot, she already knows that; that's why Leo texted her—that's why she's here._

"—and I'm sure he'll be glad to see you."

"I'm sure." She sits down on the table beside me. "So what is all of this?"

I blink at her decision to stay and chat and it takes my brain a moment to get the gears turning again.

"Oh, I constructed a medical solution using the mutagen and various other components to speed up the recovery process of Mikey's epidermis," I explain simply.

She looks at me and giggles. "Oh, is that all?"

"What?" I ask, trying not to sound flustered.

She laughs. "You just make it sound like it's nothing. Like, 'Oh, you know, I just created this insanely complex medicine in my spare time to heal my brother fifty times faster. And tomorrow, I think I'll find the cure for cancer.'"

My brow furrows. "I wasn't meaning to sound arrogant—I was simply answering your previous question—"

"Donnie, it's okay," she says lightly. "I was just joking."

"Oh." I rub the back of my neck. "I knew that."

She chuckles and pushes off of the table. "Well, I'm going to go see Mikey. Casey's already back there with the guys. You should join us whenever you're finished."

The sound of her beautiful voice suddenly becomes cruel when Casey's name is mentioned. I feel myself tense a little, but I hide it from her and brush it off.

"Yeah, alright," I answer nonchalant. Just play it cool… It's not like she ever comes here without him anyway. I should've guessed today would be no different.

"Cool." She heads out the door and once again, I'm left in the quiet of the kitchen. But now the silence is simply the absence of April, and it doesn't do a thing to calm me down. I sigh and push the microscope aside, crossing my arms over the table and laying my head down. The barrage of questions and doubts begin to flood my mind, taking full advantage of the opportunity of my weakened state.

I wonder how she'll treat me when I'm human. I wonder if anything will change, or if our relationship will become more tense. I wonder briefly if this is the right thing to do. Is my desperation getting the best of me?

I growl and shove down the troubling thoughts. I want this too much to simply push it aside. Now that I'm sure the procedure is plausible, I can't resist the urge to try it, if only to see that I can accomplish such a feat. It's the frailty of genius, as they say. My curiosity, my confidence, my intellect—as much as I love them and rely on them, they often lead me down the wrong paths.

But despite all of this, I know I'm going to do it. I have to try it, just to prove that I can. Just to put these doubts to rest. Just to know…to see for myself…what this new life would be like.

~T~

{Mikey}

The door to the lab opens, and I have to stretch my neck to see who it is. I light up when I catch the familiar sight of bright orange hair and shout happily.

"April!"

She smiles at me and makes her way over to where I'm lying on the table. Raph and Leo rolled in the TV from the living room, brought in the couch, and even made popcorn. Since I can't move my hands and Raph refuses to feed me, I have to turn my head and grab the popcorn pieces from the bowl with my tongue. But that's okay, 'cause I've totally got it down to an art.

"April, look, look!" I show her my popcorn-covered tongue and she winces with a forced chuckle. "See? It sticks!" I gulp down the buttery deliciousness and grin in content.

"That's…nice, Mikey," she replies. She smiles down at me for a moment, her eyes running quickly over my bandages. I can spot the small wrinkle of worry between her eyebrows, so I just give her the biggest smile I can do without my face ripping in half, and she laughs light-heartedly. Her concerns put to rest, she takes her attention off of me for a second and glances at Leo and Raph, who, despite their complaining, have become entranced by the anime, and hardly notice her.

"Hey guys," she says. They don't respond, and I laugh when she has to repeat herself three more times in order to get their attention.

"April!" Leo exclaims apologetically, scrambling off the couch. "Sorry! We were just, uh—I mean, it's nice of you to get here so soon!" He nudges Raph, but he just nods in acknowledgment to her presence and pops a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"Nice to see you too, Raph," April says, rolling her eyes. She pauses and looks around. "Wait, where's Casey?"

"Over here, Red," he calls from the back of the lab. I told him not to go back there. If I can't play around with all of Donnie's colorful, labeled vials and bottles, then Casey _definitely_ can't. But he didn't exactly listen, and Raph and Leo are way too caught up in the second season to do anything but stare at the screen. Oh, well.

"What're you doing?" April inquires. "Um, did Donnie say you could touch that? Or that?"

"Nope!" I chime. "I told you, bro, Donnie's gonna kill you if he finds you back there."

"I'm just looking. Sheesh!" Casey gripes. I can hear the clinking of glass and I roll my eyes with a sigh. At least I won't be the one getting yelled at for touching stuff. For once.

April watches Casey for another moment with a slight frown on her face, but it fades as she turns her attention back to me.

"So, how're you doing?" she asks softly. I shrug.

"Good, I guess." The recollection of my brothers' reactions to me waking up still make me uneasy. Honestly, I feel fine…just a little sore. But the way they looked at me when I woke up was like I came back from the dead. I don't remember anything past the heat of the fire and the chill of the ocean, but I don't mind that. There's no point in remembering pain, and if I was as bad off as my brothers described, I don't _want_ to remember.

"But my legs are itching _really_ bad." I suppress the urge to scratch my shin with my other calf and groan. "Donnie says I can't move. And I think everyone's forgetting that I've had to pee for forever!"

April closes her eyes and makes that 'I didn't need to know that' face. But it's cool; I like that face.

"Well maybe if you'd stop drinking so much, you wouldn't have that problem," Raph growls.

"Well _Donnie_ said to keep hydrated!" I retort.

"Then _Donnie_ can carry you to the bathroom!"

"And I don't think five sodas count as hydration," Leo pipes.

I let out an exaggerated groan. "Well I either go there or I go here, and I'm leaning towards the ladder—"

"_Latter_," Leo corrects.

"And if you do _anything_ along those lines," Raph snarls, "I'll knock you into next week."

I scowl and thump my head back against the table, defeated and extremely uncomfortable. I glance up desperately at April. "Hey, um, do you think you could—"

"No," she deadpans. "Don't even bother asking."

My expression drops into a pout I know she can't resist, and she exhales.

"I'll go get Donnie."

~T~

{Leo}

Donnie and I are waiting outside the bathroom for Mikey. I can hear the blasts and sounds of glorious robot action booming from the laboratory, and I sigh, frowning to myself. I told Raph to pause it…

"I'll need help reapplying the medicine after this," Donnie says, drawing me from my trance. "It's almost done thawing out."

I nod absently. "Yeah, sure." I close my eyes for a moment, listening to another awesome-sounding explosion go off. I knock on the bathroom door impatiently. "Mikey? You almost done?"

I hear the sink start up, and Donnie yelps and shoves me away from the door.

"Mikey! Don't get your hands wet!"

"What?" he questions. "I thought I was supposed to wash my hands after!"

"You'll irritate the skin!" Donnie urges, tugging on the door handle. "Just—don't!"

"Well what am I supposed to do? You're the one always yelling at me for personal hygiene—"

"I have an antibacterial spray, alright? Just get out here!"

I smile and shake my head at Mikey's muffled protests. He opens the door with the kind of looks that says he's just done with all this injury nonsense, but Donnie ignores the glare and ushers him back into the lab. He gets back onto the table obediently, but I can tell by his facial expression that he can't—or won't—take much more of this. Donnie comes over with a small spray bottle, gently removes the rest of Mikey's wrappings, and squirts the cleansing solution over the areas.

"There," he sighs. "Now stay here. I'm going to go get the medicine and some new dressings. Leo?" He glances at me, raising an eye ridge as a gesture to follow him. I nod, and we both walk out of the lab and towards the kitchen.

"What'd you need me for?" I ask as he shuts the door, slightly irritated that I'm missing so much of the show.

He doesn't answer me for a minute while he extracts the green vial from the centrifuge on the counter.

"I need you to ask Karai about something," he says lowly. I tense up at her name.

"What for?"

"That robot belongs to the Foot Clan. It had the design and the insignia on the back of the neck. I suspect it was a prototype, or maybe a defective product left behind in one of the warehouses. Whatever the case, it's clearly part of Shredder's agenda."

I step back. "Why would he want robots? And where would he even get the tech to make them? Robotics and ninjutsu don't exactly fall into the same category."

He shrugs. "I don't know. I suspect he got the materials, or at least the design, from the Kraang. Maybe they were working together or something before we took the Technodrome down."

"Or maybe he stole the information," I mutter. Donnie nods in consideration.

"That's more likely."

I sigh and rub my forehead. "So what do you want me to ask her?"

"Well, obviously about the robots. See what she'll tell you and find out where they're making them or what they're for. Any information will be helpful."

I raise a brow. "Yeah, and what if she doesn't give me _reliable_ information?"

He smirks and crosses his arms. "I thought you said you trusted her?"

That stumps me. My nostrils flare and my eyes narrow in his direction, but his grin only widens to prove his point. He gives the vial a swirl and walks past me, briefly placing his free hand on my shoulder.

"Just give it a try, Leo. And who knows? Maybe this will show us whether or not she's everything you think she is."

…

The rest of the day dragged on. Donnie and Casey bickered, April tried, to no avail, to calm the two, and Raph and Mikey argued over the dynamics of the show as the season came to an end. After my session with Donnie in the kitchen, I was unable to focus on the anime. My thoughts were on her, and on the rest of my family, and on all the stupid things I'm about to get myself into. It was impossible to concentrate on anything beyond the rush of my mind.

But eventually, the day did come to an end. Mikey fell asleep with fresh bandages and a stomach full of hot pizza Casey and April picked up. Raph passed out on the couch beside our little brother, and Donnie walked April and Casey out to the surface. He was supposed to go to sleep after, as Master Splinter instructed, but we both knew he wasn't going to do that. I slipped out from my room a few hours after the rest of them fell asleep, passing by the lab on my way out to receive a reassuring glance from Donnie as he continued working on his project in the quiet, dimly lit room. He smiled at me and I nodded, and that was the extent of our interaction. I would go out, get the information from Karai and bring it back to him, and then we could figure out a plan from there.

Geared up and ready to face another night of emotional turmoil and confusion, I head to the surface, with Donnie's last words echoing in my mind.

~T~

{Karai}

I head to my hiding place, my thoughts a broiling mess of emotions. I'm supposed to be patrolling with some of the clan members, but I can't focus enough, and I'm constantly worried that we'll run into Leo and his brothers. Leo's smart enough to know when to play the game, but I don't know if I can handle seeing him right now. I just might kill him.

I push my way through the clutter of scraps and trash heaps and move through the alleyway. My vision is narrowed and my mind is set on the simple silence of my secret room.

Through the door, down the stairs. Darkness, darkness, darkness. It's comforting, as if the shadows and silence are reaching out to embrace me, to shield me from the outside world. I can feel the layers slowly peel from my flesh with every step into the black, and I want nothing more than to lock myself away for the next few hours and breathe.

I finally reach the bottom. My hand instinctively moves for the small light switch, but when the bulb illuminates the room, my heart stops.

He's stretched out casually on the couch by the wall, his eyes on me expectantly. My breath is stuck in my chest and I don't know whether I should reach for my sword or turn and run.

"Good, you showed up," he says, straightening in his seat. He offers a faint smile, but it brings me no comfort. I'm too weak for this. Too raw, too exposed. The shockwaves of my actions the previous night are still coursing through me, and I know I'm in no condition to play it off through my usual cold composure.

"What're you doing here?" I question, feeling defensive and unable to hide it from my voice.

He arches a brow. "I thought you said the whole rooftop thing was getting old?"

I clench my jaw and don't respond. He watches me, legitimately put off by my behavior. His confidence wavers enough for me to notice and he stands to his feet.

"Is something wrong?" he asks softly. My teeth grind together and my fists curl at my sides. Why does he get to me? He's not even trying!

But I know that's what does it. He's genuine, sincere. He's not good at lying; he just stumbles over himself like a dork. Transparency is my weakness, but it's his strength. In a world of lies and greed and selfishness, truth is a weapon. A threat.

"Get out," I growl. I'm not playing this game; not right now. He pauses, searching me, and I can feel his eyes peeling back the layers. My anxieties flood my system. "Now!"

A plethora of emotions cross his expression in a millisecond. I can hardly pick one from the other, but I can see his thoughts whirring behind his eyes as he tries to decipher the situation. And not a moment later, something shifts in his stance, as if he's made a decision. It's slight, barely noticeable, but his eyes harden and the way he looks at me changes.

"I came here to ask you something, Karai."

"Well I don't care," I bite. "Just because I brought you down here once doesn't mean you can come hang out whenever you want. Now leave."

He doesn't budge. "Not until you give me some answers."

My lip curls over my teeth and I reach for my sword as a warning. "Leo—"

But he moves fast. Too fast. In a split second, he reaches me and rips the sword from my hand, throwing it across the room, and pins me against the wall. The air is torn from my lungs and my aching body throbs beneath the pressure. I can feel the cold steel of his katana against my throat.

"I can play the game too, Karai," he growls. "If this is how you want the conversation to go, then fine. I can speak your language."

I grunt and try to twist out from his grip, but with his weight pressing into me, it's practically impossible. I wince, my body tensing in frustration.

"What do you want?" I snarl. I'm seething beneath his touch and I can feel my rage bubbling up the back of my throat like venom.

"You had Mikey's T-phone the night after he was attacked," he recounts. "But you wouldn't tell me how or where you got it."

I twist my wrists in a useless attempt to break the hold he has me in. "And?"

"We have the robot that attacked him. Donnie thinks it's a prototype or some sort of screw-up, but it definitely has the Foot Clan symbol printed on the back of its neck. Which means it belongs to Shredder."

My eyes narrow. "But that doesn't mean I have anything to do with it."

He pushes me into the wall and I grimace at the discomfort the pressure is putting on my shoulder.

"You're his daughter."

"Yeah," I grunt, "well that means very little to him in terms of communication."

He holds me there for a moment, like he doesn't believe me.

"You don't know anything?" he presses.

I grit my teeth. "No."

"But you were out at the docks. You found his phone."

I don't say anything. He snarls at my lack of participation and yanks me from my place against the wall, flipping me onto my stomach and forcing me down with his foot into my back. The ground is cold and hard and my chest is aching under his weight. I hiss at the dull pain, but I suppress any other reaction, shoving down the shock, and even the fear. We are matched in skill by blade, but when it comes to sheer physical strength, his exceeds mine by far—but he usually doesn't utilize the advantage. He must be pretty upset to confront me in such a fashion. It's generally the other way around.

"Don't lie to me, Karai."

He's out of my line of sight and I'm becoming more vexed by the second. Frustration and the reminder of my weakness boils and bubbles in my gut, and my entire body clenches against it. This is absolutely humiliating, and if he thinks he can get away with it without proper retaliation, he's in for a surprise.

"Karai," he hounds. "Tell me what you were doing out by the docks!"

But I bite my tongue and smirk to myself. I can hear the frustration building in his voice; it seeps off of his being in tangible waves. I use it to my advantage when he tightens his grip on my arms and jerks me back. I cry out, faking pain, and he instantly releases me and jumps back, his voice dripping with apologies.

"Sorry!" he yelps. "I'm sorry—I didn't mean—"

I'm on my feet in one fluid movement, delivering a brutal kick to the center of his plastron and sending him into the wall behind us. He hits it with a grunt, and I've got him pinned with the katana I tore from his grip. His eyes are wide, locked onto mine in bewilderment, his breath shallow and quick.

"I've heard rumors," I whisper, my lips curling up into a rather cold smile. "But I haven't seen anything. I went to the warehouse because I wanted to see what my father was doing for myself." I don't tell him that I took the phone because I thought it was his, and I didn't want my father finding it. "But then I heard you and your brothers out on the docks, so I left." I press the sharp edge of his katana against his exposed throat with enough force to draw a thin line of blood. "Satisfied?"

He winces, straining his neck to avoid further injury from his blade.

I hold him there for a moment, relishing the exasperated defeat swirling in his narrowed eyes. I meet his scowl with a grin and shove him against the wall, using the momentum to push myself away. I drop his sword at his feet and turn on my heels.

"Now get out."

I keep my back to him, but I can picture him well enough in my mind to know that he's still standing there, tensed, incredulous, and unsure of what to do next. His mask of ferocity and authority has faded quicker than I expected, though I'm surprised it appeared in the first place. He must be on edge.

"I'm trying to prove them wrong," he says suddenly. I stop, but I don't turn to meet his gaze as he continues.

"No one believes that you're anything other than a lying, two-faced snake."

The words almost hurt coming from his mouth.

"I'm trying to… I want them to see you the way I do."

I scoff, cloaking the pain with the bitter humor of it all. "What if the way you see me is wrong?"

"I know it's not."

The sound of his voice is so certain, so steadfast—it makes me sick. I'm reminded of the fact that I've exposed myself to him; that I can never hide behind my shroud of deception the same way again.

I exhale, releasing the breath from my heavy chest. "I don't want you here, Leo. Leave me alone."

Part of me wishes I was facing him so I could see him wince at my words, see the hurt in his eyes. The other part's glad that I'm not.

He changes the subject in hopes that I'll let him stay. "So you don't know anything about the robots. Alright. But can you at least take me there and show me?"

I think it over, and after a moment, a cold smile creeps upon my lips. "Fine," I say, making sure to sound like he's won me over. "I'll show you. Come on."

He glances at me warily, especially when I pick up my sword, but I sheathe it and gesture for the stairs.

"Ladies first," I quip. He loosens up at the joke and slides his own weapons into their sheaths on the back of his shell as he steps over to the staircase.

"If you insist," he retorts. I chuckle and turn out the light before following him up the stairs. He pushes open the rusty door and we reach the alleyway. The dark of the night covers the city, drowning it within the shadows. Leo walks down the narrow passage with me at his heels, and neither of us say a word until we've exited the filthy backstreets. We pass through the winding roads between the towering buildings for another ten minutes. I glance at the street signs. The Foot soldiers aren't far from here…

I let myself stop behind him, and only a fraction of me protests the notion. I shove that part down and bury it beneath the heaving mass of emotions I see no other way to fend off.

He pauses at my sudden absence and glances back at me. "Karai?"

I smile, eyes flashing deviously.

"I'll give you a ten-second head start."

And then I break a smoke bomb across my thigh and fling it in his direction. The stinging fumes pollute the air surrounding him and he chokes, his hands instinctively clutching his throat. I wrench my sword from its sheath, and that's all the convincing he needs to stumble forth and break into a run.

My smile widens, my fingers clasping the hilt of my blade excitedly as I watch him go pell-mell through the street.

The game has begun.


	9. Chapter 9: Players and Pawns

**Author's Note:** It's been forever, I know, and I apologize a billion times for updating so late. I've had midterms for the past three weeks and it hasn't been much fun. But I'm really excited for this story! After this chapter, there's going to be a shorter one sort of tying things up, and then, and I'm being serious here, the plot is actually going to get started! Can you believe such a thing? Crazy stuff, man.

But I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing the fight scene and yay! More bro feels on the horizon! And I wanted to thank all of your who have followed/favorited/reviewed this story-it means so much to me! *big hugs* I hope you continue to enjoy these updates, and as soon as this whole "midterm/essay" season blows over, I'll update more regularly. Have fun with this chapter and be sure to leave your thoughts in the review section!

**Disclaimer:** Nope. Still don't own it. Thanks for rubbing it in, copyright infringement laws.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Nine: Players and Pawns<span>**

{Leo}

I can't breathe. My eyes are stinging furiously from the blinding powder, but still, I run. I don't know where I'm going—I can't see ten feet in front of me—but the panic and adrenaline coursing through my body prevent me from stopping. I should've known this would be a bad idea. I should've seen it in her to shift so quickly. I faltered…and she took advantage of it. She knew I would trust her enough to let my guard down.

I can't even focus on the pain in my chest at the realization. My legs burn and my mind is racing and my eyes hurt so bad—

"You're getting slow, Leo!" she calls behind me. My breath hitches and I pick up the speed. I don't know what she'll do when she catches me, and I don't want to find out. I know that at the moment, she is a threat, and I must either devise a tactical retreat or find an area to engage in combat. Preferably one with several escape routes.

I veer right, sliding into a narrow alleyway, my eyes locked on the fire escape on the side of the building. The muscles in my legs coil and I spring from the concrete, snatching the metal rungs and hauling myself up and over. I climb the steps, leaping past entire sections, scrambling, thumping, tripping. I have to blink continuously to try and relieve the burning in my eyes. My senses have shot into overload. The rush of blood through my skull drowns out all other sound but the pounding of my heart and my ragged draws of breath. I leap onto the roof, frantically scouring my surroundings for any opportunity to hide and initiate a stealth attack.

But the notion quickly dissipates as a shuriken slices through the air an inch from my face and sticks into the AC unit in front of me. I skid to a halt, panting, and whirl around to face Karai. We stand at opposite ends of the rooftop, and even through my blurred vision, I can see the cruel gleam in her fiery eyes. I swallow, uneasy, and reach for my katanas. I can't get out of this without a fight—that much is obvious. I'm just trying to understand why she suddenly seems so much more hostile than usual. It's like she _wants_ to hurt me.

Keeping the realization at the forefront of my mind, I steady myself. Control. That's all this really is. If she wants to fight, then I'll give her a fight. And I won't let her take advantage of me again.

Her lips twist up into a knowing grin as she readies her blade and charges at me with a war cry. I let her get close before rolling out of the way and swiping with my katanas. She ducks, as expected, and pulls her body into an air kick. Her foot hits the flat edge of my blade, not with enough force to knock it from my hand, but enough to strain my wrist. I hiss at the sudden twinge of sharp pain and instinctively lash out, catching her leg before she can complete her spin and yanking her to the ground. She's more dangerous with her weapon, but if I can just subdue her and get her into another hold, she won't stand a chance.

She anticipates this—again, expected—and slips a hidden dagger from behind the armored plate on her thigh and stabs upward. I manage to move out of the way in time to avoid getting a knife in my face, but it slices my upper shoulder and I immediately sense the warmth seeping from the wound. I can't hold back the shock; she's cut me before, probably worse than this, but the motive seems different. The other times were simply because she expected me to get out of the way—I'd dare to go as far as calling them accidents, though she would never admit to that. But this felt deliberate.

I frown and snatch her wrist in that instant. I don't have it in me to hurt her on purpose. I could never be towards her what she is towards me, and she knows that. She thrives off of it, in fact. But the look in her eyes is making it clear to me now that I'm going to have to be a little more aggressive in order to withstand her attacks. I have to figure out a way to stand my ground without putting her in any real danger.

I slam her to the ground. Our eyes meet, fierce and sharp, and I can hear the air being torn from her lungs at the force of my attack. I twist her wrist enough to cause pain, and she drops the slim knife, her breath hitching at the sting. But it's when I think I have her that I realize I really don't, and I never will.

She arches and twists her body out from under mine with such speed and fluidity that I can't resist being impressed—well, until her knee connects with my jaw and sends me reeling back. I stifle a cry of pain and it turns to a guttural snarl forced between my teeth. My eyes land on her, furious, seething. There's a little bubble of emotions growing in my gut. I can't place them, but they burn, and I know it'll pop before long.

I taste blood in my mouth. She twirls her sword across her fingers and charges me again, throwing herself into the air with stunning agility. I can't dodge this one, so I wield my katanas up into a blocking stance and catch her momentum between the two blades. The clang of weapons sends a jolt running down my bones and I slip back a few inches.

"What's wrong, Leo?" she taunts, the city lights glinting across the fire in her eyes. "Can't handle the heat?"

I snarl and jerk my upper torso forth with enough strength to knock her back. She stumbles, but catches herself before she can lose any real ground, and I lunge at her, katanas raised in an arch with every intention to strike—

And then an arrow pierces the back of my leg.

~T~

{Mikey}

My eyes peel open and a groan escapes my lips. Man, my head feels like someone took a sledgehammer to it…

I smack my tongue lazily and grimace at the nasty taste of stale breath. I glance around. The TV's still on, but the tape stop playing hours ago, so the screen is just a dim, blank, flickering image of static speckles. The rest of the lab is dark, save for a faint light in the corner of my eye. I stretch my neck and twist enough to see Donnie slumped over his laptop, snoring softly. I smile and shake my head. I wonder if he'll fall asleep during training. That's always funny.

I turn my gaze to an empty couch beside me, and my smile drops. Raph was here when I fell asleep. Did he go back to his room? Glancing back at Donnie to make sure he's really asleep, I hesitate for a moment before deciding to go ahead and get up. And the entire process is overwhelmed by my arguing thoughts.

_He said not to move._

He's always been paranoid.

_But you're still recovering—he said that, right?_

But I really feel fine. My burns don't even hurt.

_What about your headache? And all the pain in your body?_

I'm just…sore. But I'm fine. I can walk for a few minutes and get back to sleep, and he'll never know.

I ignore the rest of my brain and slide off the cool table, hugging my blanket around me. My feet touch the ground and I test the feeling of weight on my legs, mindful of the bandages. My head reels slightly at the movement, so I lean back and clutch the table's edge to steady myself. Close my eyes. Breathe. Open. Move forward.

It catches me off guard at how something as simple as walking drains me so fast. I guess Donnie's medicine was meant to repair my damaged skin—not everything else. I remember him going off about shock and exhaustion and something about my body temperature…but like usual, I think I tuned him out five seconds into the lecture. I really gotta stop doing that.

I make my way out of the lab, as slow as a turtle—the non-mutated ones—and hobble for the hallway connecting all of our rooms. I have to hurry; if Donnie catches me up, I'll be in huge trouble.

I reach my room first, and I pause. Frowning, I push open the door and stare at my comfy-looking bed. I really wanna jump into the blankets and pillows, curl up, and fall asleep. Maybe I can ask Donnie to move me in the morning… It'd sure beat that stupid examination table.

I have to shake off the urge to wobble in there and play with my action figures, who are looking particularly left out, and I make towards Raph's room. I nudge open the door and peek inside, but there's nothing but darkness and an empty bed. My frown deepens. If he's not in the lab and he's not in his room, then where'd he go?

I check Leo's room too, and also find the bed to be an empty mess of tangled sheets. They're both gone?

_Maybe they went topside_, I think. I don't remember anyone saying anything about a mission, but maybe they just didn't want me feeling left out. I sigh and slowly head back for the lab. I really do mean to go back to bed, but Donnie's laptop catches my eye, and my curiosity, once again, gets the best of me.

Everyone keeps saying that's a bad thing, something about it killing a cat, but I'm a turtle, so I really don't see why that should apply to anyone who isn't a cat. But, thinking back…I guess it was my curiosity that got me into that fight with the dementor/robot, and every other mess I've ever been in.

But I just shake off the thoughts and tip-toe over to Donnie's desk area. There are papers and notebooks scattered all across the table. None of the writing makes any sense to me, so I skirt around behind Donnie, making sure to be extra quiet. I stretch over his shoulder to get a look at the computer screen, but it's just a bunch of diagrams and stuff. Technobabble. I almost give up and head back to the other side of the lab when I notice a notebook under Donnie's arm. I chew on my lip in thought before carefully sliding the book out from under him. I wait for him to wake up, to jump and scream at me for touching his stuff and snatch the notebook away, but he doesn't. He just keeps snoring. I smile mischievously to myself and start flipping through the pages. Most of it's nonsense, but there's a page labeled "Project X" that looks interesting. I skim through the notes—most of it's about retromutagen—and then there's drawings. I don't know what any of it means, but a weird feeling is starting in my tummy—like someone's tying knots with my intestines. I grimace and flip to another page. I know Donnie wanted to find out how to make retromutagen to un-mutate things, but this seems…different. Like something's wrong. And it doesn't help when my eyes land on the sketch of what looks like a human with a question mark for a face, along with a whole bunch of margin notes about "molecular conversions" and "mutation." I shudder and keep flipping pages, but this _Project X_ continues for almost twenty pages in the notebook, with more drawings and more equations. The word "human" keeps showing up, over and over and over, and so does the word "anthropomorphize." That one's a little less familiar.

Why is he putting so much work into his idea for retromutagen? Did we need some? Is that why we've been gathering mutagen canisters?

But I don't remember him saying anything about this, and while usually me not remembering something isn't a big deal, it is when it comes to Donnie and his inventions. Whenever he's working on something, he blabs about it for days and days, trying to get us as excited as he is. I think we all kinda tune him out, but I'd remember all of this stuff for sure. He's never said a word about any of it.

That feeling in my gut is getting worse. I finally can't stand it anymore, so I snap the book shut and slide it back under his arm before hurrying over to my side of the lab.

I turn off the flickering TV and curl up on the couch instead of the examination table, tugging the blankets over me. I have to be mindful of my position—something that's _really_ annoying—so I don't mess up any of the bandages. The skin beneath feels too tight and I have to lie still on my back. My nostrils flare with my breath and I stare up at the stone ceiling, hoping the sleep will come fast, and morning faster. I can't wait to be out of these wrappings and back into training and messing around with the guys. I swear, after this, I'll never take it for granted again.

Sleep doesn't come easy, and now my mind is buzzing with all of the stuff I saw in Donnie's notebook. It probably doesn't mean anything, but I just have this weird feeling that I can't shake. I chew on my lip and stare at the stones above me, idly wiggling my toes as I try to hum myself to sleep.

I close my eyes, but the picture of the faceless human keeps popping up and it's creeping me out. Why didn't it have a face? Why is Donnie drawing stuff about humans and mutagen?

I sigh and thump my head into the pillows to knock the thoughts loose. It doesn't matter. I can just ask him in the morning. Besides, Donnie's always doing crazy things—they're a lot of fun and they usually work out in the end.

I'm sure this will be no different.

~T~

{Leo}

The shock hits before the pain does. I gasp and stumble back, my hand instinctively shooting for the arrow sticking out of the back of my lower thigh. I have to stop myself from ripping it out.

My eyes dart up in the direction of the shot, and my heart skips at the sight of a dozen or more Foot soldiers lining the roof of the building next to us. My gaze flickers to Karai, my lip curling above my teeth in defensive accusation. I can see a sliver of surprise swim across her dark orbs, but it vanishes in a split second, and she resumes attacking me, as if I didn't just get shot.

I manage to stumble out of the way as her blade flashes across my vision and smacks into the concrete. I grimace at the stinging pain shooting up from my leg, and against my better judgment, I snatch it and tear it from my skin.

Pain. Sharp, momentarily unbearable pain. I shove it down, crushing it between my teeth, and I toss the broken shaft aside, my grip tightening on my katanas. Karai stares me down, a message glinting in her eyes.

_Play the game._

I block another one of her attacks and deflect two more arrows. Enemies from both sides. And knowing Karai, she won't help me. She has eyes on her—spies for Shredder, reporting her every move. She has to attack me with everything she has, or she'll be in just as much trouble.

_Play the game._

Because if I don't, we both die at the hands of Shredder…or one another. And to be honest, I'm scared to find which will come first.

I slide to the ground, ducking under the quick, gleaming arch of her blade, and I take off across the rooftop. The sound of arrows clanking against the concrete and ventilation systems behind me quickens by pace, and I launch myself from the roof. Airborne one second—

Two seconds—

Hit the wall, snatch the pipes, climb, climb, climb—

Swing right, dodge an arrow. Ignore the pain thrumming beneath the beads of rising blood. Up, up, up—

Onto the roof. Running, sliding, twisting and spinning on the back of my shell to knock another string of arrows and shruikens from the air.

My muscles are burning. My lungs are aching from the rapid rate of breath. My mind has lost itself in that familiar and terrifying realm of survival instinct, and everything else fades into the black.

_Go, move, run!_

I leap over the AC units, slide across the solar panels, jaw clenched, heart pounding. I move for the fire escape, remembering a sewer entrance located in the alleyway beside this building. Though my brothers, mainly Raphael, would beg to differ, I hate retreating. _Especially_ from Karai. But I'm outnumbered and in no condition to take all these guys on at once. I have no other choice—

A second arrow hits me, this time on the upper part of my shoulder blade. The piercing sensation ripples across my body and I cry out, clutching at the wound. I reach back and tear the arrow head free and my stomach turns at the immediate spurt of blood. I drop the arrow and it clatters to the ground. My fingers tighten around the wound, squeezing more blood from it. My hand becomes sticky with crimson, and my vision sways. My heart flutters and skips oddly, but I try desperately to shake it off and forge ahead.

I have to keep moving… I have to…escape…

The world tips. I manage to catch myself against a wall, but everything has turned sideways, and all of the colors are beginning to melt together.

…What?

The roar of blood rushing through my skull is deafening. I must've…been hit…with something…

A groan escapes me as I stagger forth, pressed on reaching the alleyway. My vision continues to twirl and expand, and my stomach recoils as a dizzy rush overtakes me. I can't tell if I'm on the verge of fainting or puking when something crashes into my shell.

_BAM!_

I'm slammed into the ground from behind. The rough cement scrapes the skin from my jaw and sends a stinging wave across my body. I grit my teeth against the pain and realize Karai's got me pinned.

"Sorry, Leonardo," she says coldly. "Running's not an option."

The chilled steel of her blade sends a shiver down my spine. The ground rumbles under the running steps of the Foot soldiers closing in behind me. Karai bends down over me, pressing my face into the ground as she leans in close.

"The arrow was dipped in a tranquilizing solution," she whispers lowly. "You only have few minutes before you pass out at best. Fight me for a moment, and then drop off the edge into the alleyway. There's a manhole cover below."

Her words sound thick and distant, but I understand, more or less. I manage to nod and force my body to fight the poison running through me. I jerk my arm back, knocking Karai off of me. I pull myself from the ground, gripping the hilt of my katanas so tight, my knuckles are almost white. Everything's still spinning, and when she jumps at me, I suddenly see four of her. I groan and manage to block her attack, but that's about all I can do. She jabs and slices, and I duck and stumble back, my world warping and swaying all around me. I seriously think I'm going to throw up—

"Come on, Leo," Karai hisses. She becomes a blurry mesh of dark color as she scolds me. I stagger back against the roof edge, holding down the urge to vomit. She glances back at the approaching Foot soldiers and snarls, pressed. She lunges at me, her sword against my throat, and pins me against the edge of the roof.

"You're supposed to be _convincing_—"

But then someone screams—my name, I think—and a blur of motion rips past me and slams into Karai. A yelp of pain escapes her and the two forms go tumbling back. The sudden force of it is enough to throw me off balance, and in a horrifying moment, I realize I don't have a grip on the edge, and the roof disappears from under me—

And I fall.

~T~

{Karai}

Leo's been reduced to a stumbling drunk under the influence of the tranquilizer. If the situation weren't so impossible, I'd find it amusing. But with Father's soldiers breathing down my neck and no doubt reporting everything I do, I can't let them see me falter. I have to fight Leo like I'm bent on killing him. And it's funny, because I had no trouble with that five minutes ago. But when that arrow was shot into him, an awful fear tore through my insides. The sight of his blood shook that haze of anger from me.

But now, it's too late. He's been hit twice, and if he doesn't get it together enough to make a believable escape, we're both going to face my father's fury. I snarl and lunge at him, now motivated by an anger that's frantic and fearful.

"Come on, Leo," I hiss. "You're supposed to be _convincing_—"

"LEO!"

A familiar voice screams for the wounded soul in front of me, but before I can even react, a fist catches me upside the jaw and a body slams into me. A cry of pain is forced from my lungs as the force of the hit sends a shockwave through my skull. We both go flying back, and I'm crushed into the cold, hard ground, pinned and aching. Blood rushes into my mouth and I realize I've bitten a hole through my tongue.

"_You_!" My vision flickers and blurs, but after a moment, everything clears, and the piercing green gaze of Raphael is boring into me. He raises his sai above my head, but that's not what catches my attention. My eyes are locked on Leo, a few yards away from me, stumbling, unable to gather his sense of balance, and then—

_No._

He slips and tumbles off the edge of the roof with a strangled cry, vanishing from my sight.

"Leo!" I shout, immediately cursing myself for using such a desperate tone. Raphael stops his attack and looks back to see what I'm screaming about, when he sees the empty spot where his brother was just standing. He's off of me in a second, crying out for his brother and running to the roof's end.

I pull myself to my feet in a daze and lift a hand to my split lips. Blood soaks from my mouth into my gloved hand and I grimace. I'll have to get him back for that.

"Leo!" Raph yells. He whirls around and looks at me with all the fires of hell burning in his eyes, but he knows he has to get to his brother's aid. He has to choose to fight…or to run. And I can tell he hates it.

"I'll get you for this," he spits. He looks over at the Foot soldiers and then back to me, his scowl as mean and ruthless as ever, and he snarls as he pulls a smoke bomb from his belt and smashes it into the ground.

His vanishes beneath a thick plume of purple smoke, and I breathe a sigh of relief at the quick sound of him leaping down the fire escape and pulling Leo into the sewers below.

"They've escaped," one of the soldiers growls. His eyes shoot to me, but I've got enough blood dripping from my mouth to look convincingly defeated.

"I didn't think the other would show up," I mutter, wiping the slick red from my lips. My whole face is still buzzing from the punch that I know I'll be feeling for a week. Well, at least one of them has the guts to do it right.

"What do we do now?" the soldier inquires.

"Fall back. Try it again in a few nights." I slip my mask back on and sheathe my sword.

"We're just going to let them escape?"

I scoff. "Well, if you want to go after them in a dark, wet, underground maze that runs through the entire city, risk an inevitable ambush, and be completely out of your element, be my guest."

No one says anything to that. I smile to myself and start walking off for Father's. I've noticed lately how the loyalty of my soldiers has shifted. They must've seen me favor the turtles on several occasions, or maybe someone's spreading rumors. Either way, something's off. They've been questioning me a lot more, and I'm sure Father is having them spy on me. Enemies. Enemies everywhere.

I straighten my shoulders and listen to the sounds of their footsteps behind me. My mind wanders back to Leo, but I have to shake it off. He'll be alright—he always is. He has to be, after all.

But even still, I can't get the image of him slipping over the edge out of my mind. How high up are we? What, seven, eight stories? No, no—shut up. Don't think of it. He's fine…he's fine…

I shut down the rest of my thoughts and focus on the cold hardness in my chest. It shuts out the rest of my emotions, until there's nothing but the apathy. And with half my being closed off and my heart cloaked in ice, I head home, mentally preparing myself for the consequences of my foolishness.

~T~

{Raph}

Karai screams his name. I look back just in time to catch a glimpse of him tumbling over the roof's edge, and my heart drops to the bottom of my gut. His name rips up my throat as I push off of Karai and stumble for the empty spot where he was just standing.

I clutch the brick lining the end of the rooftop and stare down at his distant, crumpled form.

"Leo!"

My chest constricts and the anger flares up to consume the pain. I whirl around to face the lying, venomous snake. She has a welt forming along her lower jaw and cheek where I punched her, and blood is dripping from her lips. It isn't enough. The urge to march over there and rip her to pieces overtakes me. My hands are shaking, clutching my sais with a burning hatred. Leo's hurt—I have to get to him—

But it's _her_ _fault_!

My gaze is like fire, searing hot and brimming with the stinging threat of tears. I glare at her, wishing that looks could kill, but the Foot soldiers are almost right on top of us and I have to get to Leo—

"I'll get you for this," I spit. And then I snatch a smoke bomb from my belt and chuck it at the ground. The world is enveloped in the thick purple cloud, and I fling myself down the fire escape, skipping entire flights in my haste, and hit the ground hard. The shock shoots up my ankles and knees, but I hardly register the pain. I run to him, grabbing him by the shell and hauling him over my shoulder and making a beeline for the sewers.

The darkness covers us as I slip down the ladder. I grunt, landing on my shoulder in the shallow waters, a dull ache moving up my side. I keep my hold on him and pull myself up, stumbling forth, splashing through the sewage in desperation as I head for home.

Too many times. There's just too many times I'm hauling one of their bodies back. The thought makes my stomach clench and I bite down the aching hurt, letting the anger warm me.

He's such an idiot! How many times is it going to take for him to understand that Karai is bad news? Why is he so stupid?!

My teeth clench as I run, my eyes burning, and I realize I haven't checked to see how bad off he is. I skid to a stop and set him down on the walkway along the sides of the sewer. My hands are trembling as I pull out my T-phone. The light comes on and illuminates the whole section of the tunnel, and my thoughts are reduced to stifled bursts of rage in-between the concern.

His left arm is swollen, and his wrist looks broken, and one of his legs is bent at an unnatural angle.

_Leo, you're so stupid—_

A scrape along the underside of his jaw is crusted over in dried blood, and there's wounds on his shoulder blade and the back of his thigh, like something stabbed him.

_I can't believe you were sneaking out to see her—_

The skin's torn and agitated, and blood is still oozing from the injuries. The side of his shell has fracture lines running through it—he must've landed on it—but he's still breathing, and there's no signs of injury on his head.

_When you wake up, I'm going to smack you upside the head for being so stupid, for scaring me half to death, you stupid idiot—_

He probably hit the fire escape on the way down and broke his wrist and his leg, and then landed on the side of his shell. All thing's considered, a cracked shell is certainly better than a cracked skull.

I bury my face in my hand, groaning. "Leo, you idiot... You freaking idiot…"

He's alive. That's all that matters. I just have to get him home, where he'll be safe…

I pick him up and gently shift his body over my shoulder, trying to calm myself. He's not dead, he's not dead, he's not dead…

But oh, he's going to wish he was when I'm through with him.


End file.
